tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4693401219959272564.post6809029123873971769..comments2024-03-25T05:49:46.932-04:00Comments on My Name Is Not Bob: When Everything Changed (Blissfully Series)Robert Lee Brewerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03733003865003484352noreply@blogger.comBlogger33125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4693401219959272564.post-15385656517495423732012-02-13T16:04:45.991-05:002012-02-13T16:04:45.991-05:00Hi Robert - Now I know why I was drawn to your blo...Hi Robert - Now I know why I was drawn to your blog. I don't follow very many (only one other). I was once married to a man similar to your father. I am now attempting to write about it. Your words are superb. Your strength has encouraged me. <br />Thank you.Kerrynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4693401219959272564.post-33873309026426040752012-02-13T00:07:51.021-05:002012-02-13T00:07:51.021-05:00big hugs to you for writing about this and sharing...big hugs to you for writing about this and sharing. my heart breaks to read this but it also helps me understand, as your friend, things that i didn't quite understand when we were teenagers. no matter what you choose to share with the world about this difficult time in your life, just know that you are learning to look at the experience from many angles and it is helping you to keep growing as someone who can love and be loved without blurry lines and confusing situations and discomfort. you really have survived something difficult but allowed it to shape you with qualities that are opposite of the pain you endured.kristi weberhttp://www.midwesternskirt.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4693401219959272564.post-44353698385352941592012-02-10T09:49:33.495-05:002012-02-10T09:49:33.495-05:00I am a guardian for GAL. I've see children in ...I am a guardian for GAL. I've see children in situation very much like your past experience. It's hard to face those adults in court, stand beside them while making a report and not want to turn and tell them what I think of them. But...I can't. I have to work toward an accepted solution for the child's best interest and tell the court what I think. And I've seen wonderful results. Thanks for your post, it can help others to heal.Karenhttp://www.karencampbellprough.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4693401219959272564.post-58378988040454374002012-02-09T17:25:24.707-05:002012-02-09T17:25:24.707-05:00Again, thank you, everyone, so much for your comme...Again, thank you, everyone, so much for your comments and support. You're all moving me in positive directions that will hopefully benefit others. Thank you so much.Robert Lee Brewerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03733003865003484352noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4693401219959272564.post-67484125388287496952012-02-09T12:54:44.215-05:002012-02-09T12:54:44.215-05:00Robert - my heart cries when I read your blog -- a...Robert - my heart cries when I read your blog -- and think of the millions of other children who've been taken advantage of - abused - lost their childhood, due to horrible actions from people they trusted. May we never become neutral toward this abuse but always hate it - fight it - and pray for healing. gailChats with a Cheeky Old Broadhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10802686134041598681noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4693401219959272564.post-1616510363694056372012-02-07T11:14:12.316-05:002012-02-07T11:14:12.316-05:00You seem so brave in the face of things that canno...You seem so brave in the face of things that cannot be undone. thank you for reminding us of the true power of the pen. and thank you for trusting us with your story. that could not have been easy at all.ellenhttp://areason2write.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4693401219959272564.post-68175468563943054692012-02-06T20:24:55.598-05:002012-02-06T20:24:55.598-05:00I'm sorry.I'm sorry.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03158095196591514000noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4693401219959272564.post-63581045261167878632012-02-06T18:47:05.755-05:002012-02-06T18:47:05.755-05:00This was probably the most courageous sensitive po...This was probably the most courageous sensitive post I have ever read. You have such heart to admit this aloud, and I hope that you have been able to find peace with what has happened.Khaalidahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00148190341832128084noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4693401219959272564.post-89275514202659143052012-02-06T16:26:26.241-05:002012-02-06T16:26:26.241-05:00I cannot think of words adequate to express my adm...I cannot think of words adequate to express my admiration for your courage and openness. Very few of us would be able to put ourselves out in the open like that for all to see.<br /><br />Thank you so much, Robert, for being the kind person and the kind of person that you are. <br /><br />Carol A. StephenAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4693401219959272564.post-87020372037152217722012-02-06T16:11:18.152-05:002012-02-06T16:11:18.152-05:00Robert, well, all I can say is I understand. In o...Robert, well, all I can say is I understand. In our society, it's much more difficult for boys/men to talk about this, particularly when it's their father. You are brave, honest, and you will help more men free themselves from the unearned shame/blame that all survivors carry. God be with you as you continue your journey. Love, AmyAmy Barlow Liberatorehttp://sharplittlepencil.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4693401219959272564.post-75982229777984979272012-02-06T09:53:41.200-05:002012-02-06T09:53:41.200-05:00I think all of us have three versions of our child...I think all of us have three versions of our childhood - the public one, the family one, and the private one that is the true whole of all those parts. Your raw honesty wends all of those versions into one, and that is a very courageous thing to do.Lisa A.noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4693401219959272564.post-27014960875171655412012-02-06T09:23:19.022-05:002012-02-06T09:23:19.022-05:00Robert, thank you for sharing this. First, after ...Robert, thank you for sharing this. First, after reading your other posts, I'm so glad you broke the pattern and are a good dad for your kids. But the hurt in this post runs deep.<br /><br />I was abused by my father with my mom's full knowledge. He used to play find the soap in the bath tub with me, then went on to other games. Funny about the house fire behind you. As a kid, when my parents were asleep I used to get up to feel the walls to see if there was an electrical fire - I think it was the depth of the violation expressed by that gesture.<br /><br />There is a site you might want to check out by Cec Murphy that deals with men who have been abused.<br /><br />http://www.menshatteringthesilence.blogspot.com/<br /><br />There really is healing from abuse - there will come a day when these memories will not be laced with so much pain. I am praying for you.<br /><br />Heather.Heather Marstenhttp://www.heathermarsten.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4693401219959272564.post-86419336926955984832012-02-06T08:47:49.652-05:002012-02-06T08:47:49.652-05:00I just wanted to take a moment to say thank you to...I just wanted to take a moment to say thank you to everyone who's commented. I've read them all, and each one means a great deal to me. Thank you.<br /><br />As the Blissfully series will show throughout this year, things did get worse at times, but I always ultimately found a new door to open and enter. And I'm in a great place now.Robert Lee Brewerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03733003865003484352noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4693401219959272564.post-4451143117348739822012-02-06T08:34:17.771-05:002012-02-06T08:34:17.771-05:00Robert,
I too have just recently begun to follow y...Robert,<br />I too have just recently begun to follow you and have spent quite a few hours working my way through your previous posts. The sensitivity, intelligience and humor in your writing ill prepared me for the raw honesty in this post. So painful to read of your innocence lost...but I rejoice in the life you have now and the man I've come to know through his writing. Thank you for sharing this with such grace and courage.Amy Morganhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10613446967051981724noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4693401219959272564.post-35174799368611908112012-02-06T04:06:04.245-05:002012-02-06T04:06:04.245-05:00As a female molested by my "mother," I k...As a female molested by my "mother," I know that deep pain and twisted confusion and shame caused by incest perpetrated by your same-sex parent. I have read that it is even more shaming for a male to be victimized, so I can only imagine your pain. <br />Two of my dear brothers committed suicide because of what our "mother" did to them. People say I am strong, and a survivor, but I know how it really feels some days, no matter how much healing you do and no matter how many people really love you, and I truly pray for you. <br />I know the feeling of always needing to tell, so that people will understand you better, yet having the fear of either not being believed or of being shunned by those who find it uncomfortable. That alone is a constant inner battle.<br />Keep doing what you do. You have a way of reaching out that is beautiful and pure and redeeming. Some survivors are not capable of such.CDhttp://poetcolette.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4693401219959272564.post-14391160769739797422012-02-06T00:39:42.352-05:002012-02-06T00:39:42.352-05:00I started reading your blog only recently. I start...I started reading your blog only recently. I started it for the writing advice as I share the light and dark on my blog and begin the process of writing a memoir.<br /><br />But I stayed because of the sensitivity and tone of some of your entries. Your heart. It shows whether you are sharing something like this or your professional knowledge.<br /><br />Thank you for letting us in in such a personal way. And like the others who have commented before me, all I can wish for you is the release in not having a secret, and peace as you, too, grapple with the humanity of the person who did this to you.<br /><br />It is no easy process--it is a lifetime process. You already know that, though. Be gentle with yourself.JeannetteLShttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13528285846408727632noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4693401219959272564.post-77268405229635316622012-02-05T19:05:39.892-05:002012-02-05T19:05:39.892-05:00Robert - when everything changed - indeed. I canno...Robert - when everything changed - indeed. I cannot imagine what it has been like for you wrestling with this painfulness all these years ... Your raw courage and the explicit manner with which you tell your story are deeply touching and commendable. As more than one before me has said, you've gone up a notch in my estimation and that's considerable ... thank you so much for putting yourself out there like this. As a parent, I ache for the little boy you were and the man that still hurts ... be well. You deserve to find peace and I hope writing about this helps you get some.S.E.Ingrahamhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02135141369161538082noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4693401219959272564.post-28509947943463325982012-02-05T18:27:02.066-05:002012-02-05T18:27:02.066-05:00Robert--my heart breaks for you and rejoices for y...Robert--my heart breaks for you and rejoices for you at the same time. You've obviously overcome much. I'm sorry it took that pain to get there. No child should ever have to endure it, and no adult should ever inflict such things. Thank you for your bravery to share and allow us to know you better, and for letting us hurt with you. Blessings.Sarahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07771205678312556376noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4693401219959272564.post-40758288001397274762012-02-05T17:53:14.706-05:002012-02-05T17:53:14.706-05:00I just finished listening to Jaycee Dugard read he...I just finished listening to Jaycee Dugard read her book "A Stolen Life." As difficult as it was to tell, she said, she knew children (and former children) needed to be encouraged to tell their stories, particularly when they had been hurt by adults. It's a terrible betrayal of trust to make the child carry the guilt. I hope today gave you some relief and freedom.Nancyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12624871760177836653noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4693401219959272564.post-51374019212583246052012-02-05T17:29:37.343-05:002012-02-05T17:29:37.343-05:00I am so sorry. No child should ever have to exper...I am so sorry. No child should ever have to experience this.Gailhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04219479223227928561noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4693401219959272564.post-67827867361001426902012-02-05T17:04:25.375-05:002012-02-05T17:04:25.375-05:00:-(
I just want to add my voice to the many, even ...:-(<br />I just want to add my voice to the many, even though I'm not sure what to say. I know how difficult, and how important it is to share about things like this. So thanks for being brave.Dhttp://www.openandclosedworld.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4693401219959272564.post-83366159078071266482012-02-05T16:18:21.870-05:002012-02-05T16:18:21.870-05:00You've been such an inspiration to so many peo...You've been such an inspiration to so many people. My heart broke open reading your post today. To hear that you had to hold this inside for so long, and somehow found a way to be the person you are now... I can't imagine.<br />Stay strong.<br />I love knowing that you smile and sing so much.<br />Your blog is an honest and thoughtful place.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4693401219959272564.post-48434390513636988472012-02-05T15:57:26.504-05:002012-02-05T15:57:26.504-05:00When I read the title When Everyting Changed, I ha...When I read the title When Everyting Changed, I had thought you'd write about the birth of your children or marrying Tammy or about your health ordeal the other year. I never expected to read this and my heart goes out to you. I think De has already voiced exactly how I feel so I'll just say, "Yeah...what she said!"<br /><br />I admire your strength, Robert. Keep going strong.Linda H.https://www.blogger.com/profile/01005584805379179415noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4693401219959272564.post-24923500225303121512012-02-05T15:53:33.691-05:002012-02-05T15:53:33.691-05:00Any words I try to place here seem to lack the tru...Any words I try to place here seem to lack the true feeling of sincere sadness I feel for what you've endured. You're an amazing person, a super inspiration to me and so many others, Robert. Thank you for ALL that you do!Hannahhttp://wordrustling.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4693401219959272564.post-82892172939849266322012-02-05T14:57:31.104-05:002012-02-05T14:57:31.104-05:00I thought the story would be about a house fire yo...I thought the story would be about a house fire you lived through, I was prepared for a tough read, but totally unprepared for what I found. It was a shock. I wish I could find the right words that could help somehow. You are very brave, Robert, and you're doing fine, and will be fine. You've got your family, your five (!) kids, you're a "pie-in-the-face-taker", you write great poetry, and host a wonderful blog, you have your life. I wish you and those dear to you lots of happiness. Take care,<br />SashaSasha A. Palmerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11930602874359925520noreply@blogger.com