My Name Is Not Bob

Things That Scare Children (Blissfully Series)

2012-02-12T17:16:00.000-05:00

Throughout 2012, I'll be sharing stories about myself on Sundays as part of this Blissfully series. My life has already had its share of good and bad moments, but these are the ones I consider the most important.

The Vacuum Cleaner of Doom

Today, I've been cleaning and organizing a bit. My mind often seems to mirror my surroundings. If they're cluttered, so is my brain. When I got out the vacuum cleaner, Will started telling me not to run it. I told him I had to run the vacuum. So he went to his room and closed the door until I finished.

You see, Will is afraid of the vacuum cleaner. Since we live in an apartment building, he's also afraid of the noises upstairs (especially heavy walkers), leaf blowers, and lawn mowers. Reese is also spooked by normal noises. It can get difficult as a parent to explain that there's nothing to be afraid of, while trying to help them overcome their fears.

But then again, I think such fears are part of living. After all, I had (still have from time to time) my own set of fears. I remember my brothers and I would run for cover whenever the dump truck came by for its weekly collection--and we did the same when the street cleaner came 'round.

I can't remember if I was ever afraid of the vacuum cleaner, but the sounds caused by flushing a toilet always terrified me. It almost sounded as if a ghost or demon was ready to reach up and snatch me. The sound was not just unpleasant, it made me fear for my life.

Of course, these things are foolish fears, though I'd be lying if I said I haven't created new things to fear as I've grown older. And some of these new fears are foolish. I know it. Silences when I'm alone. Talking to strangers. Imagining people hiding behind corners and bushes in the evening. Expecting to see ghosts (or burglars) appear behind me when I look in mirrors.

After all these years, I realize I can't just dismiss the fears of another person, because the things that scare children are the things that scare me as well. Foolish as they may seem to others, fear is very real for those who suffer it.

*****

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*****

Check out these other posts from the Blissfully series:

Poetic Saturdays: Spelling List

2012-02-11T09:45:00.002-05:00

I hope everyone is having a cozy Saturday morning. Here in Duluth, Georgia, we're having one of our few "cold" days of winter this year. As a person who grew up in Southwestern Ohio, it still feels nice for February. My offering this week is actually a found poem. Reese, who's in second grade, does these spelling-related homework assignments every week, and one of them is to put his spelling words in alphabetical order. While I was checking his work earlier this week, I saw a poem emerge.

Spelling List, by Robert Lee Brewer

about
are
away,
because
different.
find
help
here
only.
put
there.
think
too.
use
way.
why?

*****

Newer Book:

Pitch: Poems
by Todd Boss (Norton)

Last year, I learned about Motionpoems and tried to get Boss involved with Poet's Market. Unfortunately, it didn't work out, but it did lead me to learn more about his writing. Pitch is an interesting collection, because some of these poems look like they shouldn't appeal to me, but as I get caught in them, there's a music to nearly all of them that swings me through the poems--and causes me to want to read more. But they also beg to be considered--each one--through a second and third reading and then always wondering if the poem doesn't mean something else. That's the real pleasure of reading poetry--being swept up by the music and then left puzzling--and Todd Boss delivers in Pitch.

*****

Poems Found Online:

The Mail Order Bride Attempts a Letter Home, by Molly Spencer from Linebreak
Best Wishes for a Perfect World, by Jamie Bruno from Stirring
Gone, Gone, All the Stones I've Thrown Out to Sea, by Michael Mlekoday from Juked
from Sorrow Arrow, by Emily Kendal Frey from Pax Americana
Sorry Was in the Woods, by Michelle Taransky from jubilat

*****

Older Book:

View with a Grain of Sand: Selected Poems
by Wislawa Szymborska (Harcourt Brace)

Earlier this month, the poetry world lost an amazing voice when the Polish poet Wislawa Szymborska died of lung cancer at 88. Winner of the 1996 Nobel Prize for Literature, Szymborska's poetry is both very readable and also penetrating. For instance, one of my favorite poems from this collection is "Going Home," in which a man comes home and curls up in his bed. There is something very basic about these poems and raw and still magical. As with most great collections, this book is filled with sorrow, doubt, but also an unrelenting joy.

*****

Note: Links in this post to books are affiliate links. However, I do not mention these books to make a profit. They are either books I'm connected to or ones I truly love. All other links in this post are not affiliate links.

*****

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*****

Check out previous Poetic Saturdays posts:

How I Spent My Winter Break (8 Brand New e-Books for Writers)

2012-02-09T17:00:00.000-05:00

Around the end of 2011, I fell behind on several print projects in order to get together some great e-books as part of our company's digital initiative. While I'm still digging myself out of a hole, I did notice recently that these e-books are now available on Amazon. So I thought I'd share them.

My first book of poetry prompts!

Write Poetry Now: 366 Prompts for Inspiring Your Poems
by Robert Lee Brewer (Writer's Digest Books)

In this e-book, I collected 366 poetry prompts that I've devised over the years over at my poetry blog along with a few new ones. Plus, some of the prompts are form-related, so it's an instructional book in that sense. But mainly, this e-book is meant to act as a spring board to poeming.

2012 Mystery Writer's Market: Where and How to Submit Your Novels and Short Stories for Publication
by Robert Lee Brewer (Writer's Digest Books)

In this mini-market book, writers of mystery fiction can find scores of listings for book publishers and magazines that consider mysteries, whether in long or short form. The listings include information on how to contact, what to submit, and more.

2012 Romance Writer's Market: Where and How to Submit Your Novels and Short Stories for Publication
by Robert Lee Brewer (Writer's Digest Books)

With Valentine's Day just around the corner, romance is definitely in the air. In this mini-market book, writers of romance can find plenty of listings for book publishers and magazines that consider romance novels and/or short stories. As with the Mystery Writer's Market, these listings include contact and submission information and more.

I love the little skull on this cover.

2012 Horror Writer's Market: Where and How to Submit Your Novels and Short Stories for Publication
by Robert Lee Brewer (Writer's Digest Books)

If romance horrifies you, then maybe this mini-market book is more up your dark alley. The 2012 Horror Writer's Market offers plenty of listings for magazines and book publishers looking for fiction that frightens. As with the other mini-Market Books, these listings include how to contact, what to submit, and more.

2012 Science Fiction & Fantasy Writer's Market: Where and How to Submit Your Novels and Short Stories for Publication
by Robert Lee Brewer (Writer's Digest Books)

Of course, if all of this sounds alien to you, then this may be the mini-Market Book for your needs. In it, there are plenty of out-of-this-world listings for book publishers and magazines who are on a quest for great science fiction and fantasy fiction. As with the other mini-Market Books, these listings include how to contact, what to submit, and more.

2012 Guide to Writer's Conferences: When and Where to Pitch Agents, Meet Editors, and Master the Business of Being a Writer
by Robert Lee Brewer (Writer's Digest Books)

Sending cold queries is one thing, but the best way to make meaningful connections with editors, agents, and other writers is by attending writing conferences. This guide collects listings for writing conferences. Each listing includes information about when and where the conference is held, as well as what is offered at the events.

Looking for a good contest? This guide should have it.

2012 Guide to Writing Competitions: Where and How to Enter Every Major Writing Competition in the United States
by Robert Lee Brewer (Writer's Digest Books)

Contests are a great for writers who want to find fame and glory for their writing. This guide to writing competitions includes hundreds of contest listings for nearly every genre of writing. Each listing includes contact and submission information and more.

2012 Guide to Professional Services for Writers: Comprehensive contact information for freelance editors, proofreaders, self publishers, and other service providers used by writers
by Robert Lee Brewer (Writer's Digest Books)

Sometimes writers just need help from a professional. If this describes you, then you'll be interested in the 2012 Guide to Professional Serivces for Writers, which includes listings for freelance editors, self-publishers, and other professional services. This guide is packed with hundreds of listings for services that some writers need.

*****

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Check out these other Not Bob posts for writers:

Finding the Courage to "Go for it" (Life Changing Moments Series)

2012-02-08T07:00:00.000-05:00

Sage Cohen is a great poet and author who I first "met" through my involvement with Poetic Asides and her involvement with Writing the Life Poetic (Writer's Digest Books). We started communicating then about poetry, but she's also turned into a great freelancer for both Writer's Market and Poet's Market. Plus, she sends out really amazing cards and poems from time to time, which make me think using mail in the right way is still a great method for deepening connections with others. In addition to Writing the Life Poetic, Sage is the author of The Productive Writer, also from Writer’s Digest Books, and the poetry collection Like the Heart, the World. Visit Sage at pathofpossibility.com.

Sage Cohen, writer of notes and rider of bikes

Early in high school, I became infatuated with Ronnie McCord. He was in my gym class, a 40-minute reprieve from the caste divides of who is smart and who is popular and who is a stoner and who is a goodie-two-shoes. Ronnie was kind in an enigmatic sort of way, and he had those sad, looking-beyond-me eyes that would become my holy grail of fumbled romance for many years to come. Everyone knew that the people you talked to in gym class weren't the people you talked to in the halls–when you had your real clothes on and your real friends in reach.

For a week or two, I biked past Ronnie's house in Woodcrest every day after school, back and forth, back and forth as the leaves papered the streets with their departure. I don't know what I thought would happen if he actually came out and found me out there; but there was really no other choice. I'd been sucked into this boy's orbit. I needed something from him that I couldn't understand.

Finally, even the bike was not enough to impress my yearning for Ronnie in the pavement around his house. I became shy and strange in gym class. And then I decided. I must tell Ronnie the truth–I must unburden myself of its weight. I wrote this boy a letter. The words knew what they wanted to say; I wrote and carefully folded the notebook paper and shoved the wad at him one afternoon, overcome with hope and shame, as we headed out into the halls of our respective identities.

Ronnie never mentioned the letter.

Though I was fairly certain my feelings would not be reciprocated, being entirely ignored felt pretty awful. But that was only part of the story. Underneath the burning embarrassment was a more settled feeling of what in retrospect could only be called triumph. I had been brave. I had something to share and I shared it. And in doing so, I was released from my compulsive need for reciprocation. Just owning what was true for myself–and reaching for it–was enough.

The Importance of Going for It
This is the first memory I have of coming to awareness of the pleasure of "going for it," as distinct and independent from "getting it." I told myself that now I didn't have to wonder what could be possible with Ronnie. I had done my part and gotten my answer in his non-answer. Now I could move on.

A decade later in a city across the country from our south Jersey high school, Ronnie (now Ron) was dating a friend of mine–someone else from high school who had not been in my social caste at the time. I don't know how it happened but somehow, in this new context, we were all friends.

One day out of the blue, Ron thanked me for my letter. He told me that its honesty and straightforwardness had terrified him at the time, that he had been far too immature to know how to respond, and that he had always been ashamed of his lack of courage when I had taken such a risk. I was surprised and moved to hear that my letter had affected him at all. And was reminded that even when you don't get what you want, you can never presume to know why other people do what they do (or don't do.)

I think of Ronnie when I need to remember that it's ok to be clear about what I want, even if I'm not likely to get it. In fact, I have come to believe that it is not just ok, but in fact essential to my happiness. It's a rather efficient process, if you think about it. Had I not written Ronnie that letter, I might still be circling his house on my 10-speed. Instead, I got my answer and moved on to my next crush–Mark Holder, who pulled arrows out of my chest in a dream shortly thereafter.

The Power of Wanting and Reaching
I have come to appreciate reaching-and-missing as the best possible kind of psycho-social yoga there is. And, there are not many people who agree with me on this. Seth Godin suggests that we let go of expectation. Pema Chodron advises that we give up hope. But I think not-expecting and not-hoping makes things pretty darn confusing. If you don't know where you're headed, how can you know if you have arrived? In my experience, the most pleasurable part of moving towards a goal is the moving towards part.

The sticky part for us humans is how bad we can feel if and when we don't arrive.

What if we were to consider reaching for what we want the triumph, and anything that comes after that gravy? What if we were to be grateful to know certain things are out of reach, so we can hone in on what may be better suited for us in this moment? When we feel satisfied with how we hold our choices, the outcomes of those choices matter far less.

I didn't get Ronnie the boyfriend, but I got Ron the friend—it just took us a decade to get there. But really what I got when I wrote that letter was my very first glimpse of myself as a woman of clarity, a woman of truth, a woman who could live with no for an answer—and even be satisfied with no answer at all.

*****

If you think you have a great life changing moment to share (and you probably have several), click here to learn how to get the conversation started. I'm sure if you think it's important, I may too.

*****

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Check out previous posts from the Life Changing Moments Series:

Best Blogs for Writers to Read in 2012

2012-02-07T07:00:00.000-05:00

As I said in last year's best blogs list, there are so many blogs out there by and for writers. The list below identifies blogs that I personally think are the best blogs for writers to read. If you don't agree with any of the selections (or think I missed a spot), then share your faves in the comments below. That way, I can check them out for next year's list.

Brian Klems, blogger/father/Reds fan

Writer's Digest Blogs
Many of you probably already know this, but I'm employed with F+W Media as a senior content editor. As a result, I'm rather partial to the blogs on the WritersDigest.com site. In fact, my poetry blog is hosted there (see below). So let's get these out of the way first.

Guide to Literary Agents, by Chuck Sambuchino
The Writer's Dig, by Brian Klems
There Are No Rules, by Editors of Writer's Digest
Questions & Quandaries, by Brian Klems (also)
Poetic Asides, by Robert Lee Brewer

My All-Star Blogs for Writers
These are the best of the best as far as I'm concerned. They post frequently, offer great content, and have been around for a while. In my opinion, everyone should be able to get something of value from these blogs.

WriterUnboxed, by several contributors (including some bloggers mentioned above and below)
Jane Friedman: Being Human at Electric Speed, by Jane Friedman
Rachelle Gardner, by Rachelle Gardner
WordServe Water Cooler, by several contributors
Red Lemon Club, by several contributors
Silliman's Blog, by Ron Silliman
Harriet, the Blog, by the Poetry Foundation
A Newbie's Guide to Publishing, by J.A. Konrath
Copyblogger, by several contributors
Make a Living Writing, by Carol Tice

Debbie Ohi, aka InkyGirl

Great Blogs for Writers
These blogs may not be on my all-star list, but that doesn't mean these blogs are any less valuable to the writers who read them.

Nathan Bransford, author, by Nathan Bransford
Wordplay, by K.M. Weiland
terribleminds, by Chuck Wendig
Writer Beware blog, by Victoria Strauss
InkyGirl, by Debbie Ridpath Ohi
Book of Kells, by Kelli Russell Agodon
ProBlogger, by Darren Rowse
Modern Confessional, by Collin Kelley
Best American Poetry blog, by the BAP team
The Traveling Writer, by Alexis Grant

Blogs That Rock for Writers
Okay, I overuse the word rock, but oh well... These blogs do rock. If you can check them out regularly, you won't be disappointed.

Baggott Asher Bode, by Julianna Baggott
Chicks Dig Poetry, by Sandra Beasley
Evil Editor, by an evil editor (not all of us can be good)
Jessie Carty blog, by Jessie Carty
dbqp: visualizing poetics, by Geof Huth
Freelance Writing Jobs, by several contributors
Wordgathering, by Margo Roby
Kris Writes, by Kristine Kathryn Rusch
How a Poem Happens, by Brian Brodeur
Kill Zone, by several contributors
Write to Done, by several contributors
Michael Hyatt, by Michael Hyatt
Jody Hedlund, by Jody Hedlund
The Writers Alley, by several contributors

*****

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*****

Check out these other Not Bob posts for writers:

Advice for Writers: 019

2012-02-06T08:11:00.000-05:00

My blog is only one of the many that offers advice for writers around the Internet. Here is some more advice for writers from some of these other sources:

3 Numbers That Matter to Your Platform, by Jane Friedman. Friedman breaks down some of the important online platform numbers that book publishers look for in book proposals. These numbers can also be helpful in general for tracking the effectiveness of your online platform building efforts.

Don't Even Think About Using First-Person Unless..., by K.M. Weiland. In this post, Weiland shares the main criterion a narrator must meet if a writer wishes to tell a story in first person.

Comic: The Bad Date, by Debbie Ohi. I love Ohi's writer-related comics.

Research vs. Observation, by Donald Maass. Great post by literary agent Maass on the importance of research and observation. When both work together, the story benefits. This post includes examples and questions for writers to ask themselves.

7 Crucial Tactics for Writing a Radically Successful Guest Post, by The Blog Tyrant. For writers trying to grow their online platform, this is a great read. (And if you want a place to share a guest post, click here to see how you can do so on My Name Is Not Bob.)

When to Call an Agent, by Rachelle Gardner. Literary agent Gardner shares when it is okay to call literary agents on the phone. Of course, everyone has their own tolerance levels.

*****

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*****

Check out these other Not Bob posts for writers:

When Everything Changed (Blissfully Series)

2012-02-05T07:00:00.000-05:00

Happy sad house fire

I have to confess: I've been coming up with excuses not to write this post for the past few weeks. My life, my perspective on life is a good one, but it hinges on a set of dark events in a relationship that I'd never wish on another person.

Relationships are funny in that they can seem to be traveling along one trajectory for the longest time. Then without warning, that trajectory can suddenly and permanently change--for better or worse.

I mentioned in an earlier post how I was always a happy child. I'd run up to strangers in public and give them hugs. I always smiled (still do, in fact). And I attribute this happiness to my home life.

My brothers and I would sleep together in the same room and bathe together in the same tub. We'd cuddle with our parents on the couch. Our parents--both of them--would tuck us in and hug and kiss us good night.

We were all so affectionate that I'm not even sure when the lines started getting crossed. Instead of taking baths with my brothers, I was taking them alone with my father--unaware there was anything weird about that arrangement.

I was around six years old when I started becoming aware. That's when my father took it upon himself to teach me a new sort of kiss in which he'd put his tongue--huge and warm--into my mouth, and I was supposed to do the same back to him.

"It's called a French kiss," he said, "and you need to put it in my mouth longer. Like this."

That's when everything started to change, and something new and strange began to dominate my life. And it's when I started keeping a secret that would not be told for nine long--and lonely--years.

*****

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*****

Check out these other posts from the Blissfully series:

Poetic Saturdays: Cotton Candy

2012-02-04T07:00:00.000-05:00

Good morning! The Brewer family is up bright and early today, because Reese is racing his derby car with the Pack 420 scouts this morning. Hopefully, you can take a few moments to NOT race around this weekend and enjoy a little poetry.

cotton candy, by Robert Lee Brewer

send your sister home. we have some un-
finished business to discuss. the kind
best handled in private. move closer

but keep standing. that cotton candy
skirt has me getting all serious,
and you know how i can get when i'm

serious. don't close the door; we aren't
going to wake anyone. the mice
are in the field, children fast asleep.

*****

Newer Book:

Lovely, Raspberry: Poems
by Aaron Belz (Persea)

I've been a fan of Aaron Belz's poetry for years now. He has a way of writing about pop culture that's unpredictable, funny, and thought-provoking. Some of my favorites include "the love-hat relationship" and "alberto vo5," which are relationship poems (and oddly involve the head). What I really love about Lovely, Raspberry is that it's easy to flip any poem and get sucked in. For instance, I just flipped to "lone wolf," which begins, "Goodnight, moon. Or rather, goodbye. / I'm tired of the tricks you've played on me." Of course, I have to finish reading such a poem. Each poem is lovely like eating a raspberry.

*****

Poems Found Online:

3 Poems, by Tammy Foster Brewer from Scythe Literary Journal
Cold Water Morning, by Gregory Luce from Words Dance
The Scientist and the Monster, by Stephanie Cawley from Boxcar Poetry Review
The Failure of Geometry, by Sara Backer from The Pedestal Magazine
Vesper Sparrow, by Patrick Phillips from Virginia Quarterly Review

*****

Older Book:

The Captain's Verses: Love Poems
by Pablo Neruda (New Directions)

Blame Valentine's Day candy in the local Kroger or all the commercials advertising jewelry and flowers, but I've been in a love poem mood recently, and there is no better book of love poems (for my money) than Neruda's The Captain's Verses. This book was originally published anonymously, but Neruda finally acknowledged it in a 1963 edition. There is no pebble left unturned in Neruda's examination and celebration of love, including these lines from "Your Feet," "But I love your feet / only because they walked / upon the earth and upon / the wind and upon the waters, / until they found me." May your feet find Neruda too. You won't be disappointed.

*****

Note: Links in this post to books are affiliate links. However, I do not mention these books to make a profit. They are either books I'm connected to or ones I truly love. All other links in this post are not affiliate links.

*****

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*****

Check out previous Poetic Saturdays posts:

Secret to Good Parenting #1: Have Fun!

2012-02-03T10:00:00.000-05:00

As a parent of five, I often stress myself out over whether I'm doing a good job with my boys and girl. At times, it feels like my primary job descriptions are "breaker up of fights" and "clean up your room proclaimer," not to mention "lord of get your homework done already."

Yeah, there are times when I feel like a real downer, though I realize the importance of not always giving in to what the boys want. But that's the real problem of being a parent: trying to walk the fine line of teaching values and still being someone the kids love to be around.

Robert Lee Brewer, after taking a pie
in the face at a Cub Scout pack meeting.

So I've tried adding other descriptions to my job as father, such as "taker of pies in the face" and "tickler of ribs." When the situation gets too edgy in the Brewer household, it's time to play a game or take a walk outside. Or it's time to read a book.

After all, it is important to teach values and life lessons, but it's also just as important to build loving memories and traditions that can be passed on to the next generation--as long as that next generation doesn't happen any time soon.

Remember: Goggles make a whip cream
pie in the face much more enjoyable.

*****

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*****

Check out previous Not Bob posts:

When I Learned to Actively Pursue Happiness (Life Changing Moments Series)

2012-02-01T07:00:00.000-05:00

This week's guest post for the Life Changing Moments series comes from Debbie Ridpath Ohi. I first "met" Debbie through her work on the WritersMarket.com's Market Watch column. For close to a decade, we worked together (her in Toronto, me in Ohio and then Georgia), though she posted her last news update to the site this past December. Debbie is now focusing more on her career as a writer and illustrator for children's books. For instance, she's the illustrator for I'm Bored, by Michael Ian Black (Simon & Schuster, 2012). Be sure to check out Inkygirl.com, her illustrated guide to kidlit and young adult writing and illustrating, as well as DebbieOhi.com.

Debbie Ridpath Ohi. Photo credit: Beckett Gladney.

The biggest life-changing moment for me occurred on August 6th, 1993 when the phone rang at around 1:30 a.m. A phone call in the wee hours of the morning is never a good thing but up to then, it had always been a wrong number.

This time, it was my father calling to tell me that my brother Jim and his wife Diane had been killed in a car accident.

Apparently they had been on the way to meet friends for a camping trip. According to witnesses, their car drifted left onto the median shoulder of the highway, veered right and seemed to be fine for a moment, then angled sharply left again, across the grass median and into the path of an 18-wheeler. My brother and his wife died instantly. We never found out what caused the car to lose control.

Jim and Diane on wedding day.

I know the whole "life is short" phrase has become a cliché, but the heart of those words remains true. Losing my mother a few years before the accident to cancer and seeing Jim and Diane having their lives cut short so unexpectedly (they were both only 27, married just over a year) has made me much more conscious of the choices I make in how I live.

I'm far less inclined now to just coast. I'm more willing to take risks when it comes to pursuing what I want. I'd rather dive in than cautiously dip in a toe. Sometimes things don't work out and I fail spectacularly, but only after giving it my best shot.

I actively pursue happiness instead of just hoping it happens my way. If I'm consistently unhappy about an aspect of my life, I try to change it instead of just complaining. I choose my friends instead of letting them choose me, and seek out those who inspire and motivate me.

It's so easy to take people and things for granted, especially when you've never experienced loss. Sometimes when I'm feeling upset about some minor inconvenience or slight, I'll purposely remind myself to put things in perspective.

Debbie with her sister and brother, Jim. Photo by their dad.

Not all of the changes in my life are necessarily good. I'm far less patient with certain types of people than I used to be, and some of my friendships have suffered as a result. I get especially impatient with people who waste my time or are overly passive, or who are drifting unhappily through their lives but are too scared or lazy to attempt to improve their situation.

Overall, though, that one life-changing moment years ago has set me on a path that is much more good than bad. And I'd like to think that if my brother were to peek in to see how I was living my life, he'd be pleased.

*****

If you think you have a great life changing moment to share (and you probably have several), click here to learn how to get the conversation started. I'm sure if you think it's important, I may too.

*****

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*****

Check out previous posts from the Life Changing Moments Series:

Poet's Market 2013 Poems

2012-01-31T14:47:00.000-05:00

Way back in July, I made an official call for poetry submissions for the 2013 Poet's Market. To my knowledge, it will be the first time that Poet's Market has selected new poetry for its pages, and I think it's about time. So do many poets.

If you want to publish your poetry,
don't wait for the 2013 edition, grab
the 2012 Poet's Market today!

Close to 2,000 poems were submitted by hundreds of poets from around the world, including Malaysia, Costa Rica, France, India, New Zealand, and several other countries. Poets with long publication histories submitted the same as poets who are completely new to publishing (as in this was their first ever submission). I received poems written in traditional forms, prose poems, concrete poetry, and free verse, of course.

The selection process went through several rounds, and Tammy helped me out as I got near the end of the tunnel. Needless to say, the final 50 were really good. But I had to get the number down to 20.

Here are the 20 poems (in no particular order):

Frost at Midmorning, by Nate Pritts
Dear Fritz Guest House, by Sage Cohen
Ghosts, by Nin Andrews
The Wreck of Birds, by Rebecca Givens Rolland
The Painter Pantoum, by Jessie Carty
Hands To, by Kelli Simpson
Flinging the Unsaid Into the Surf, by Heather M. Moore Niver
Occluded, by Shann Palmer
At the Bowling Alley, by Terri Kirby Erickson
Echolocation, by Karen Rigby
Sea Ghost, Fire of the Sea, by Jeffrey H. MacLachlan
As a Beginning, by Joannie Stangeland
Sackcloth, by Pris Campbell
On Some Other Planet We're Newlyweds, by Kelli Russell Agodon
When I Re-read His Letters, by Patricia Fargnoli
Arrival, by Jen Karetnick
Photography Lesson, Pt. Reyes, by Iris Jamahl Dunkle
Follow the Leader, by Nancy Posey
Wind Chime, Minus the Wind, by Susan Laughter Meyers
Greetings From Motel 6, by Linda Simoni-Wastila

Congratulations to these poets for their fine submissions! And thank you to everyone who submitted!

I learned a lot during this inaugural year of choosing poetry, and I hope to only improve my processes in the next go-round. So yes, I do plan to choose poems again for the 2014 editions. I'm sure I'll have a call for submissions post in the summer months.

*****

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*****

Check out these other Not Bob posts:

Advice for Writers: 018

2012-01-30T09:07:00.000-05:00

Back from Ohio. Had a great weekend with my two oldest sons. Now for some great writing advice from across the Internet:

How I Made 6 Figures as a Freelance Writer, by Carol Tice. This post includes tips and a breakdown of Tice's 2011 freelance income--in chart form! Very cool post from a full-time freelancer.

It's Not Always About the Money, by Rachelle Gardner. Gardner, who's a literary agent, explains how the end game of negotiating book contracts is not always about who gives the bigger advance. Sometimes, it's about putting an author in the best position to have a good publishing experience.

New GroupThink vs. the Writer in Isolation -- and a place in between, Julianna Baggott. Especially in terms of the novel (but applicable to all writers), Baggott considers the push and pull of writing as a group and writing alone.

It's Easy to Write a Picture Book. Writing a GOOD Picture Book on the Other Hand..., by Debbie Ridpath Ohi. Debbie dishes on what many picture book writers already know: Just because picture books are concise, it doesn't mean they're easy.

25 Things Writers Should Know About Agents, by Chuck Wendig. Wendig gives his impression of agents from his perspective as an e-book author. This post is written mainly for fiction writers.

*****

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*****

Check out these other Not Bob posts for writers:

Poetic Saturdays: If You Were Any More

2012-01-28T07:00:00.000-05:00

Good morning! Hope you're having a spectacular Saturday morning. I'm up in Ohio visiting my two oldest sons and have already been greeted with snow (though just a dusting). For today's poem, I have a sonnet to share that I wrote somewhat recently.

if you were any more, by Robert Lee Brewer

sweet, i'd need a dentist. poetry don't
need to bring the sexy back, because it
never left. the enjambment and line breaks,
the leaping my mind makes when we're alone,
reader. sweet reader, i am watching you
reading me, leading me as i lead you
through this maze of my heart beats. my heart beats
meaning even i don't understand. steam
builds inside me until i can't contain
the words, word. swordfish twist against the line
as would anyone, reader. you're candy,
the kind once consumed drives a man insane,
and i love you--you have these words as proof.
i love you, sweet, but i have a sweet tooth.

*****

Newer Book:

Unmentionables
by Beth Ann Fennelly (Norton)

Booklist called Unmentionables, "insouciant, sexy, funny, and dead-on," and that's a pretty good 5-word definition of this collection. There is so much to love in this collection, from "The Kudzu Chronicles," a series of poems that were originally published as a limited edition chapbook by Crown Ring Press, to "Because People Ask What My Daughter Will Think of My Poems When She's 16." In fact, I think what Fennelly does so well is that she finds the pressure points and works them for all there is, and she does it with style. If you check out this collection, I promise you'll be hooked from the "First Warm Day in a College Town" to "The Welcoming," which, of course, is how the collection ends.

*****

Poems Found Online:

Jahrzeit, by Bruce Bond from Linebreak
On the Televised Arrival of Fire, by Jenny Gropp Hess from DIAGRAM
Fairy Tale for Girls Who Gather Maps, by Sandy Longhorn from Pebble Lake Review
Sunnies, by Debra Kaufman from Wild Goose Poetry Review
The Last Bestiary, by Daniel Bourne from Guernica

*****

Older Book:

The House on the Marshland
by Louise Gluck (ECCO)

I was lucky enough to attend a reading by Gluck when I was a student at the University of Cincinnati. It's an experience I'd like to say I'll never forget. It was raining outside and the room was warm, so I felt almost wrapped in a dream while listening to Gluck read her poetry. I haven't run across a collection by Gluck that wasn't a great read, but The House on the Marshland is probably my favorite. It feels like poetry written for the autumn months, and that's always a winner for me.

*****

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*****

Check out previous Poetic Saturday posts:

Random Uses for Twitter: Unintentional Writing Prompts

2012-01-27T06:10:00.000-05:00

Twitter is a good tool for collecting as well as distributing information. (If you're not accustomed to Twitter, click here for my cheat sheet.) Twitter is also great for having chats and reading funny one-liners. However, I've only recently--and I'm probably slow to the game in this respect--started realizing that it's a gold mine of writing prompts.

To prove my point, I'm going to log in to Twitter at this very moment and grab some randome Tweets:

From @thestephmerritt: Oh I hate confrontation. My neighbour has been playing music full volume ALL NIGHT &; it's still going. Just went round. Turns out he's deaf.

This tweet, for instance, could prompt a story (or poem) about someone who is oblivious about everything he or she does. Or it could be about a person who hates confrontation and is always letting things go, but when trying to confront people is either ignored or feels bad afterward.

From @OliviaDresher: Imagining a city of blind people where everyone touches canes instead of shaking hands.

This tweet could produce a Twilight Zone style story. Or it could provoke a surreal poem. Plus, a writer doesn't have to just play off blind people; this tweet makes me consider other handicaps and how it might change the world if everyone had it.

From @meandmybigmouth: Saw an empty Nutella jar on the sideboard and almost lost it. Then saw a full one in the cupboard. Crisis averted.

The story of someone who overreacts to situations. There are two ways to take such a character: either down the path of comedy or the road of drama. Either way, the character would be most compelling if he or she is in a constant state of highs and lows.

Anyway, these tweets were up at like 5 a.m. and are just a random sampling. But it shows that Twitter has at least one more use for writers: unintentional writing prompts!

*****

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Bending the Rules: Or a Poet Has to Be a Poet (Life Changing Moments Series)

2012-01-25T09:00:00.000-05:00

This week I'm pleased to share Scott Owens as the next contributor to the Life Changing Moments Series of blog posts. I first "met" Scott online, but last year, Tammy and I were able to talk with him in person at the Blue Ridge Writers Conference (in Blue Ridge, GA). Later this year, we'll be reading our poetry at one of his Poetry Hickory events (in Hickory, NC). Scott is the author of several poetry collections of poetry, including For One Who Knows How to Own Land (Future Cycle Press, March 2012) and Shadows Trail Them Home (a collaboration with Pris Campbell due October 2012 from Clemson University Press). He is also the editor of Wild Goose Poetry Review and 234. An eight-time Pushcart Nominee, Scott also serves as Vice President, Poetry Council of North Carolina; works as an instructor, Catawba Valley Community College; is founder and facilitator, Poetry Hickory; acts as regional rep, NC Writers' Network. In other words, he keeps himself busy. http://www.scottowenspoet.com/

Super busy poet and poetry advocate, Scott Owens.

So, Robert wrote to me with a simple request: write a 500-1,000 word personal story about a moment that helped guide my life or shape my worldview. Easy, right? No need to complicate things, just tell about the time I learned the meaning of love while holding my sick 4-month old daughter at 2:00 A.M.; or the moment my stepson burned himself and in caring for him I realized that I had overcome my own childhood abuse and was ready to fully embrace fatherhood; or the night I listened to my grandfather string stars together into his own constellations and recognized the power of creativity and self-determination; or the time when I was 8 and had to reach up inside a birthing cow and turn the calf so it could come out and realized none of us can do it alone. Easy, right?

The problem is, all of the moments I could think of I have already written about in the form of poems, and telling those stories now as prose would seem somehow sacrosanct, a reductionist undoing. The poems, I hope, embody the tensions of those moments, recreate the epiphanies as if they were the readers as well as mine, retain the life of the moment in a combination of language, imagery, and association that might well be lost in the single-minded clarity of prose. At least that's how the poetry-lover in me thinks. As a teacher of poetry, I would never ask a student to retell the story of Galway Kinnell's "Little Sleep's Head Sprouting Hair in the Moonlight" in prose. I would, of course, invite them to write about the poem in prose, but not to try to prosaically recreate the moment of the poem by undoing, even negating the energy contained and conveyed through the poetic compression of the moment's perceptual, physical, cognitive, emotional, and spiritual experience.

Nevertheless, I greatly appreciate the impetus behind Robert's request. In fact, I've been teaching workshops around the South for a couple of years now on techniques to access and organize such moments in our experience as potential subject matter for both poetry and prose. So, the last thing I would want to say to Robert on this request is "never mind." Instead, I'll do as poets tend to do anyway and complicate his request by giving him a couple of moments that match his criteria except that they're written not as prose but poetry. I hope they'll still work for his purposes and that they'll prove enjoyable and fruitful for his readers.

Promises at 2 A.M.

After four months of holding you,
my body sways constantly,
rocks a little when I walk.
My left arm keeps the shape
of a cradle. My mouth hums
lullabies night and day.

Little Sawyer, still more hope
than substance, I will be everything
a father ought to be. I will teach you
all that I know, all I can learn.
I will give you every chance
I can afford and more.

I will hold you when you hurt,
sing to you when the noise of the world
and your body's frailty leave you unsure.
And I will never let them take you, ever.
I would flame at the stake for you,
bare my neck beneath the blade,

suck the strongest poisons straight
from your body’s wounds, wander the wilderness
in quest for all you need, bend
my knee to any heaven's oppression.
I will give all and more
to save my life by saving yours.

Foundings

The first time my stepson cried
without his mother’s hands
to brush the pain away
I came to him quickly
without thinking. I touched him
with almost a space between
my flesh and his, the way
a woman, aging and overweight,
steps off a curb as if the path
beneath her might not be real.
And then, he leaned into me,
and my whole body changed
into something I had not known
existed, and what was once
no part of me began
to keep the ticking
of our two wrists as one.

Looking for Faces in the Night Sky

These are things anyone could have made
up. The stars are nothing but stars,
and playing dot-to-dot in the night
sky makes anything possible.
Years ago from the stone porch
my grandfather pointed them out:
the lion, the great bear, the hunter's sword.
This one he called Mary and showed me
how the stars made a woman’s face.

Looking for faces in the night sky
we string stars into shapes of things
we fear or long to remember.
I see spider, sparrowhawk, bobwhite.
This one I'll call woman becoming
an angel, the grotesque buds of wings
sprouting in her back.

Acts of Defiance

Just a boy,
not yet eight,
and knowing nothing
of the world,
I simply did as I was told
and reached my hands,
my forearms, long and thin,
even up to the elbows,
into the bloody back end
of a moaning cow
to grasp what I felt there
and pull,
and pull harder
when it wouldn't come
until something appeared,
and pull harder still
until something became
a wet mess of calf
spilling into my lap
and my uncles laughing
and my grandfather,
his hand on my shoulder,
looking at me hard,
eyes full of seriousness
saying, Good job.
Good job.

A lifetime later,
at forty-one,
holding you
I finally understand
the weight of it all.
I look at your mother
spent in bed
and say, Good job,
and then into your own
uncomprehending eyes
and say again,
Good job.

*****

If you think you have a great life changing moment to share (and you probably have several), click here to learn how to get the conversation started. I'm sure if you think it's important, I may too.

*****

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*****

Check out previous posts from the Life Changing Moments Series:

25 Ways to Increase Blog Traffic

2012-01-24T11:03:00.002-05:00

When I first started the My Name Is Not Bob blog, I really didn't have any goals or objectives. I just wanted a place to make posts that didn't fit on my Poetic Asides blog for poets. As such, I didn't really have too much of an audience in the beginning (and I'm very thankful for my readers who have been here since the beginning). But that all changed around the end of 2010 when I started getting more serious about my blogging efforts.

Having a plan is one of the best ways to increase traffic.

I won't bore you with numbers, but I now consistently have as much traffic in one day on this blog as I used to receive in two months! It didn't all happen at once, and there were some ups and downs along the way, but I've found that the 25 steps below can help any blog increase traffic, whether it's brand new or been around a while.

Here are my 25 ways to increase blog traffic:

Post consistently. When I first started blogging, I'd have months of 6 posts here and months of 2 posts there--with no rhyme or reason. The smart blogger will at least post once a week--usually on the same day of the week. The benefit to a consistent schedule is that readers know when to "tune in" to your blog.
Encourage comments. Some bloggers recommend turning the comments off when the traffic is low, because conditions are favorable for zero comments. However, I think it's a smarter strategy to expect zero comments, but encourage them from the very beginning. The best blogs will get a conversation going, and that helps build traffic. I know it can feel lonely waiting for that conversation to start, but just keep plugging away.
Tag content. Most blogging interfaces (like Blogger and WordPress) have ways to tag posts with keywords that you may use multiple times. For instance, I know this post will have a "blogging" tag at the very least, though there will probably be some others as well. And this enables readers to click on the tag to see all the content on your blog that is related to that topic. Plus, it helps with SEO (more on that below).
Always put your best foot forward. Don't fall into the trap of pulling punches on your blog. That is, don't hold back your content. I've heard many writers talk about how they use their blogs as places to throw their scraps. Well, I don't know about you, but I have more than enough great content available to me online that I don't want to settle for the scraps. Always blog your best, and you'll be surprised how you'll come up with even better ideas as a result.
Be sincere. Whether you're sincerely a jerk or sincerely a helpful person--or even sincerely confused, sincerity goes a long way in the blogging world. Don't try to change your blogging persona every week. Pick an identity and stick with it. That's one of the surest ways to connect with your audience.
Create a niche. Most successful blogs have a niche, something that defines what it is. Over at Poetic Asides, that niche is poetry, especially related to poetry prompts and challenges. MNINB is not the best example, but it's niche is better writing and living. One of the main benefits of developing a niche is that readers know why they're coming to your blog and why others should go to your blog.
Think readers first. If your blogging goal is to increase your audience, then you need to think about the needs of your readers first. Most of the tips on this list are designed to put the reader first, from being consistent and being sincere to including share buttons and paying attention to blog stats from time to time. If your blog is reader-centric, then the readers will come and bring their friends.
Blog different. While it's good to use successful blogs as a model for your own blogging efforts, readers are looking for unique voices. If your blog is all about sports (for instance), maybe you can blog about a specific team or city or region. Or dedicate it to the players who aren't the "stars" of the sport, but who probably still have fans who are starved for information about their favorite players.
Provide links. Link well and link often. Link to your own blog content. Link to the other sources of information across the Internet. Link, link, link. That said, make sure the links are relevant and helpful for your readers. If you link to bad information or information that's not relevant to your blog post, that will leave a sour taste in your readers' mouths.
Think SEO. I know Google is building up the importance of social media in its searches, which may incite other search engines to follow suit, but that doesn't mean that SEO (or search engine optimization) suddently has no relevance for bloggers. What I expect to happen is that content with solid SEO and solid social media metrics will rise to the top of the search results. (Click here for some SEO tips.)
Avoid ads (until you're popular). Just because Blogger and WordPress have tools to help you monetize your blog with ads, it doesn't mean you have to use them--at first. Ads are distracting and can slow down your blog. In fact, they may even harm your search result placement. Plus, if you don't have significant traffic, there's no money in hosting ads. Instead, focus on building your traffic first. Many blogs advise getting traffic up to at least 10,000-15,000 page views per month before worrying about monetizing. Even then, you may find that ads aren't a good fit for your blog.
Have a social media strategy. A blogger without social media accounts is going to find it incredibly hard to build blog traffic. Bloggers should work to develop meaningful connections on social media sites like Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, and Google+ at a minimum. But there are others as well, including Red Room, Goodreads, Tumblr, and more. When you publish a new blog post, be sure to link to it on your social media accounts. As mentioned above, the reach your content has on social media sites may significantly influence where you appear on Google searches.
Comment on other sites. You have to give if you wish to receive (remember the golden rule?). In addition to responding to comments on your own blog, be sure to leave insightful comments on other blogs you admire. If you read a post that really hits home, let the blogger know. If you disagree with a point, share a thoughtful comment on why you have a different perspective (and be nice about it). Also, make sure your comments link back to your blog, in case other readers are interested in learning more about you.
Archive well. While tagging can help with SEO, it becomes even more effective when you use tags to help archive effectively. This means that you don't create a brand new tag every single time you post--unless it's necessary. Instead, try to think structurally of how your posts fit together. Some of my tags (actually called Labels in Blogger) on MNINB include "Life Changing Moments," "Tips for Writers," "Blogging," and "Speaking." Some of these tags have more content than others, but they all help group information to make it easy for my readers to find content about which they care.
Include images in posts. There are a few reasons to include images in your posts. One, they make the blog and each post more attractive and help with design. Two, images help bring in traffic through search engines. Three, post-specific images help differentiate posts in your streams of information on Facebook, Google+ and other social networks. Click here to read even more on this topic.
Keep an eye on your blog stats. I do not believe in quantifying everything, especially when it comes to content. However, a lot can be learned about what's working and not working on your blog by checking out your blog stats. If there's a feature that always seems to gain traffic, then you know it's a safe bet that those posts will continue to work in the future. If there are features that never (ever ever ever) gain traction, then you'll have to make a decision about whether you still think it's worth putting time into those posts. And yes, I think stats are something you look at over an established period of time. The Internet can be fickle, so a great post can go overlooked from time to time, and a horrible post can get amazing results every once in a while. The trick is figuring out what sticks for the long haul. (Here's an earlier post in which I looked at my statistics.)
Give readers option for e-mail updates. As you can see in the upper right-hand corner of this blog, readers can sign up for free updates from my blog. I started this around the middle of last year, I believe, and it's really helped remind readers to check out the blog. Plus, they can check out updates on their smart phones without having to go online, which is something I do with quite a few blogs. It's a great way to check out a blog while I'm stuck in a waiting room or have a few minutes to kill.
Provide social media share buttons. I'm still working on my button strategy, but I've noticed a bump in traffic during the short time I've used them. (Click here to learn how to get your own social media share buttons.) These buttons make it easy for your readers to share content that they think is great--without leaving your blog. And as has been mentioned a few times above, social media is a growing force in search engine results.
Be prepared for high traffic days. The best way to be prepared is to make sure you don't get lazy with your posts by not including links to your other relevant content and that you include share buttons. You never know what is going to really catch on with readers, so treat every post like it could go viral--that way it's optimized to reach even further.
Pick and choose posts to push hard. As you get a better handle on which posts appeal most to your audience, you should know which posts probably deserve a little extra promotional efforts. Hint: The better performing posts should get more promotion, because these are the ones that readers have shown appeal to them the most. You should link to everything at least once, but linking to every post multiple times is likely to scare potential readers and connections away. So pick your battles.
Craft an editorial calendar. At the end of 2011, I started crafting an editorial calendar for MNINB for the first time, and it's really helped me focus my efforts. As a result, my traffic this January has already more than doubled last January's traffic. An editorial calendar makes following several of the steps above much easier.
Invite guest bloggers. One of the things I wanted to start doing in 2012 on MNINB is make the blog more personal and inspirational about life events, in addition to the tips about writing, blogging, etc. So I started inviting people I know and respect to guest post the Life Changing Moments series that appears on Wednesdays (including Jane Friedman, Collin Kelley, and Nin Andrews). This benefits my blog by bringing in new readers who are connected to the guest bloggers, and it benefits the guest bloggers by exposing them to the MNINB crowd. It also benefits my readers, because they get to hear from people who are cooler than me. (Btw, click here if you're interested in a guest post on MNINB.)
Provide testimonials. Actually, I don't do this all too well. I have testimonials in the comments, from e-mail messages, social media sites, etc., but I don't actually throw them up on my blog. But I've seen blogs that do it well by having a special page that collects them. It helps build excitement, especially for readers who are new to your blog and want to know more about you.
Have a blog post promotion plan. Of course, way back on number 20, I talked about picking and choosing days to push harder. Well, for all posts, you should have a blog post promotion plan--a way to let people know about your latest posts. For me, I share blog posts on my Facebook profile, Twitter account, LinkedIn profile, Google+ profile, and Facebook fan page at a minimum. With tools like Hootsuite, Seismic, and others, it's possible to post to various social media accounts without logging into each, and in fact, you can even schedule tweets and other messages in advance.
Build your brand. This is just the act of making sure that everything you do to increase your blog traffic works together and helps build you, the blogger/author/person, as a brand with whom people can identify. It may take a while for your brand to evolve after blogging for a while, but once you start to get an idea of what it is, work to build and communicate that message. This brings us full circle to being consistent, which is the surest way to build traffic over time.

*****

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*****

Check out these other Not Bob posts for writers:

Advice for Writers: 017

2012-01-23T08:16:00.000-05:00

This week brought another great load of advice from across the blogosphere, including social media tips, multiples (agents and characters), and minimizing self-doubt. Here's the best of what was found:

What's Klout? How I raised my score and why I received free Moo Cards, by Kelli Russell Agodon. In this post, Agodon shares her personal experience using Klout, and what she's received out of the process so far. I haven't messed around too much with Klout to this point, but she makes it sound fun.

How to Effectively Use Twitter for Authors, by Melissa K. Norris. Here are a few quick tips on how to effectively use Twitter. For even more on Twitter, check out this still relevant Twitter cheat sheet for writers.

100 Tips to Alleviate Self-Doubt, by Matthew Turner. In this tricky post, Turner anticipates tips to populate the comments below his post. As a result, he shares three tips and then encourages others to share their tips in the comments--there were 30 comments when I last checked.

3 Content Marketing Ideas You Should Steal From Coca-Cola, by Sonia Simone. This post from Simone is most helpful for writers who are trying to build their platform--which should be any writer who is interested in making a career out of their writing. It's, of course, focused on businesses, which is what a freelance writer runs.

Do You Need Multiple Agents If You Write in Multiple Genres?, by Chuck Sambuchino. I don't know how many live events I've attended with Chuck and others in which this question has been asked. It's been asked a lot, and Chuck is the agent expert.

Don't Let Multiple-Character Scenes Run Away With You, by K.M. Weiland. Weiland addresses a sneaky issue in writing fiction: how to handle multiple characters in the same scene.

*****

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*****

Check out these other Not Bob posts for writers:

Poetic Saturdays: The Kids Must Know Something

2012-01-21T09:30:00.000-05:00

Good morning! This week, I'm sharing a sort of response poem to the sestina I shared last week. Or maybe last week's poem was a springboard, and this is the leap. In a way, I guess, this week's poem is a leaping poem. But I've fiddled with it enough...for now. Let's roll!

the kids must know something, by Robert Lee Brewer

we don't. the new way of looking for hands
to hold. or maybe they don't hold hands and
instead say things like "bubble gum" and "sweet
potato," but the words mean something new.
after all that, we didn't bring along
our umbrellas. we were ashamed and thought
someone might say something. of course, the rain
covered us and we were miserable.
that is, our vocabulary had turned
against us, and anything we said was
a tell. the kids can chew gum and hold hands
at the same time. like our parents, we need
to chill out. those kids are just as clueless
as we were when the evening approached
with the naked moon and everything
on fire. if we give them time, they'll figure
it out. the words will come and keep coming.

*****

Newer Book:

Sleeping with Houdini
by Nin Andrews (BOA Editions, Ltd.)

Earlier this week, Nin wrote a great personal essay on dealing with the eye condition called strabismus. But what led me to Nin years ago for a Poetic Asides interview was her poetry. Nin specializes in prose poetry, and I think that form demands the most from poets, because there are no line breaks to hide behind. What I mean is that a great prose poem has to use other poetic devices to succeed. The collection starts with these lines: "Night after night, a girl dreams of falling. Falling from planes, clouds, swings. Always falling." In this collection that includes poems like "Sleeping with Houdini," "Sleeping for Kafka" and "The Bed and I," there is a constant shuffling and re-shuffling of the bed-scape. And the tricks and illusions keep coming at the reader one after another, which makes this book great fun to read. Before you know it, you'll hit the end and start searching for the parts that won't let you sleep.

*****

Poems Found Online:

You Origami Me, by Robert Lee Brewer from Words Dance (just posted yesterday)
The Cat Lady, by Nancy Flynn from Stirring: A Literary Collection
5 Poems, by Bertha Rogers from Escape Into Life
2 Poems, by Ada Limon from La Fovea
The Twin, by Hannah Stephenson from Contrary

*****

Older Book:

Paterson
by William Carlos Williams (New Directions)

I have a confession to make: I usually don't enjoy poems that go longer than one page. Blame my short attention span, blame my head trauma, but longer poems usually just bore the heck out of me. That said, those few long poems that hook me (and keep me hooked) end up being among my favorites ever. Such is the case for Paterson, which was originally published in five separate books. Ironically, the household name poem for which Williams is best known is the super short (16 words!) "The Red Wheelbarrow." In Paterson, Williams was playing with the idea "that a man in himself is a city, beginning, seeking, achieving and concluding his life in ways which the various aspects of a city may embody." Of course, I just love the poetry of this long book, which shifts seamlessly from short line breaks to journalistic prose and back.

*****

Note: Links in this post to books are affiliate links. However, I do not mention these books just to make a profit. They are either books I'm connected to or ones I truly love. All other links in this post are not affiliate links.

*****

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*****

Check out previous Not Bob posts:

Why and How to Add a Social Media Share Button to Your Blog

2012-01-20T15:04:00.002-05:00

If there's one part of my blogging strategy that's really been suffering since I began, it's been my lack of social media share buttons. From time to time, people have commented about the lack of such buttons in the comments of this blog, on Facebook, on Twitter, and elsewhere. Yet, in my lazy searches, I couldn't find an easy way to add those buttons. Of course, this post has them at the bottom--so I've figured it out now (finally).

It's good to share!

Why add social media share buttons?
The answer to this is pretty simple. Social media share buttons make it easier for people to share your amazing blog posts by cutting out steps in the sharing process. This is important, and it has measurably increased traffic on sites that use them.

The increase in traffic should be expected--even if you don't change anything else in your blogging strategy--because share buttons make you easier to share with the world, which means that share buttons make you easier for the world to find. Like I said, it's pretty simple.

But beyond that, Google recently starting incorporating social media into its search results, which means that SEO alone isn't going to drive traffic to your site through search engines. Rather, it'll be a combination of solid SEO practices combined with a super social media strategy. These share buttons help in that arena.

How do I add social media share buttons?
There are several ways to add social media share buttons. However, it took me far too long to figure out how to do so on my own, and I'm sure there are still much better ways for me to optimize my social media share button strategy, but...baby steps.

The share button I'm using below is from http://www.addthis.com/. Just go to the site and register to receive the code that you post in to your website and/or blog posts. After years of share button pain, it took me less than 60 seconds to capture and add that snazzy button to my first post. Go ahead and try it yourself.

Here are some more social media share button resources:

*****

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The Second Most Important Thing a Writer Can Do: 5 Ways to Experiment as a Writer

2012-01-19T10:02:00.001-05:00

Yesterday, I found myself messing around with my amazing chili recipe. The recipe is great as it is, but I'm not the kind of person who likes to eat the same thing every single meal. Variety is the spice of life, and good chili needs a lot of spice.

There's always another way to write something.

Writing is the same way. There are recipes out there already that are great, and writers who follow them thoroughly will automatically be better than the average bear. However, what makes a good writer stand out from other writers is the courage to experiment with something that's already working.

The most important thing a writer can do is write. The second most important thing a writer can do is experiment. That is, a writer needs to push the envelope and say something that either hasn't been said or say it in a way that creates the illusion that it's never been said.

Now, I'm not saying all writers need to become experimental writers in the sense that their work is hard to understand. Rather, I think it's important for writers to avoid becoming so predictable that their readers quit paying attention to what their reading--or worse, quit reading altogether.

Here Are 5 Ways to Experiment With Your Writing:

Read new voices and imitate what you like. Many writers say they shy away from reading too much, because they don't want to be "influenced" or "steal from another writer." However, great artists do steal from other artists, whether they write songs, draw pictures, make movies, etc. You don't imitate the words, imitate the techniques.
Apply concepts found in other disciplines. If you write fiction, learn about professional writing, poetry, and copywriting to provide ideas for experimenting with your stories. If you write poetry, do the same thing for your poems. And push beyond writing techniques to look at concepts in art, design, technology, cooking, etc.
Pile things on. That is, push your writing to excess. Add more detail, more dialogue, more everything. Ramble. Throw in details that don't seem to relate to anything. Then, try to connect the dots or allow your readers to try and connect the dots for you.
Strip things down. If your story has 2,000 words, cut it down to 200. If your poem has 20 lines, cut it to 2 lines. Strip things down to the most essential and then build it back up--unless it works in the stripped down version. Many times the most powerful writing is the most concise.
Get random. Write about random subjects. Cut up the progression of your story or poem into random pieces. Cut a story into random time sequences. See how it alters your writing.

Experimentation can seem scary. Expermintation can lead to failure. It takes a brave writer to experiment, and that's why it's an important skill for writers to develop. After writing in general, it's the most important thing a writer can do.

*****

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You Look Like Your Mama Mated With a Rhino (Life Changing Moments Series)

2012-01-18T08:00:00.000-05:00

I'm so excited that we're now three posts in on this Life Changing Moments series. Something about taking three steps always makes a project feel more real to me--maybe because you have to take one step with each foot and continue the motion with the original foot (blah-blah-blah). Anyway, more exciting than this being number three in the series is who is the next guest blogger: Nin Andrews. I first learned of Nin through a poetry collection titled Why They Grow Wings (Silverfish Review Press). I immediately fell in love with her voice, and (though this is a blog post and not a poem) I hope you will too. Nin Andrews is the author of several poetry books, including Sleeping With Houdini (BOA Editions) and Dear Professor, Do You Live in a Vacuum? (Subito Press). For more information, check out her illustrated blog at http://ninandrewswriter.blogspot.com/.

Poet Nin Andrews. Photo credit: Michael Salinger.

When I was a girl, whenever my father took the family photograph for the annual Christmas card, he gave me a choice: Look down at your feet or look to the side. You don't want the whole world to see your crossed eyes, do you? My father always worried about appearances. He was embarrassed because I have an eye disorder called strabismus, which means that while one eye looks straight ahead, the other crosses. As I age, the eye that crosses will sometimes drift to the outside.

I spent most of my childhood trying to hide my eyes, glancing up at people quickly and then looking down or away. I liked to wear dark glasses and pretend I was blind. At school during recess the boys teased me. You sure are ugly with them crossed eyes. Usually I pretended not to mind. Or not to hear. But one day, I answered back, Yeah? Well, you look like your mama mated with a rhino! The teacher made me go inside. I had to stay after school and write lines. Nice girls do not say mean words.

My parents took me to every eye doctor in town, but no one could fix my eyes. So they sent me to visit my grandmother in Boston who found a research doctor who specialized in strabismus. That doctor is the only man I’ve ever met who was thrilled with my eyes. You're my perfect specimen, he said. He offered to work on me for free. My mother sent him a ham every Christmas as payment.

For fifteen years I flew to Boston for eye tests. Each time I was met by a team of medical students. Each time the doctor would explain I needed another surgery. I had five eye operations, and I still need another. Before each surgery, the doctor would explain that the muscles on the sides of the eyes are like shoelaces, and he just needed to tighten them up a bit. But only a bit. If he tightened them too much, the eyeballs would stay on the outer corners of my eyes.

After each surgery, I was very sick. I had trouble with the anesthesia. Once they had trouble waking me up, and I had to spend a week in the hospital because I couldn't eat. But I hoped that when I took the bandages off, I would see eyes that were like everyone else's. I would examine my eyes carefully, noticing tiny red stitches in the whites of the eyes. For the last operation, I was awake. I could feel the faint tug in the corners of one eye as they tried one more time to stitch the eyeball into place. Although each operation improved my appearance, my eyes have never looked all right.

After a while, I gave up. And the doctor retired. I still heard people whisper behind my back. You're going out with the cross-eyes girl? Glasses helped, but I didn't bother wearing them. Now, when I'm tired or anxious, the eyes cross a lot. When I'm relaxed, they aren't as ugly. As an adult, I've stopped caring about them. Grown men and women (at least the sensitive types), I reason, don't laugh at people's deformities.

At least that's what I thought before I read at the KGB Bar in New York City a few years ago. I read with another poet, and the bar was crowded with his fans. He stood up and began his reading with a poem about the poet, Robert Duncan's strabismus. He introduced the poem by saying that when one of Duncan's eye was looking at you, the other was like an F-16 taking flight. In the poem, he described how Robert Duncan didn't have to look both ways before crossing a road. He could do it without turning his head. Everyone laughed as if this were the funniest joke ever told.

At first I felt tired, old, spent. I wondered if I should stand up, take off my reading glasses and see if everyone thought my eyes were as funny as Robert Duncan's. But then, suddenly, I didn't care. I, too, began to laugh. I can't explain it, but it was as if the laughter was a gift. As I laughed, I felt as if I were releasing years of fears, crushed hopes, and shame. I hate to sound Hallmark, but it was a truly healing event.

Though now, as I write this, I have to confess, there is a tiny part of me that wants to back to that reading, turn to the other poet and say, Yeah? Well, you look like your mama mated with a rhino.

*****

If you think you have a great life changing moment to share, click here to learn how to get the conversation started. I'm sure if you think it's important, I may too.

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See how the Not Bob blog is getting a little more personal in 2012:

How to View Posts on Blogger That Already Have Comments

2012-01-17T18:30:00.000-05:00

Recently, I ran into a problem in which I could not view posts on MNINB if the post in had any comments. It started about a week ago, and I haven't been able to figure out why it's happening. However, I was able to figure out how to fix the problem today (thanks to this thread).

The fix is simple: Just set your comments to Full Page as opposed to Embed.

Sooooo...how do you accomplish that?

Log in to your blog.
Click Settings.
Click Posts and Comments.
Under Comment Location, select Full Page (instead of Embed).
Click Save Settings button.

All done. You should now be able to view your comments again. Yay!

Advice for Writers: 016

2012-01-17T17:43:00.000-05:00

Missed this feature yesterday while working through a mountain of poems for the 2013 Poet's Market. Lots of good advice from around the web.

7 Ways Meditation Increases Creativity, by Orna Ross. One point I especially like in this post actually isn't one of the 7 ways. Ross writes, "Writers regularly cite one problem with meditation: they don’t have time. For all the reasons outlined above, it’s clear that for writers, meditation doesn’t take time, it makes time."

Some Thoughts on Switching Over to Facebook Timeline, by Kelli Russell Agodon. Some more perspective on the new Facebook timeline. Click here to read some of my timeline tips, which actually overlap a little with this post.

Greetings from Mt. San Angelo, by Sandra Beasley. Beasley shares her process for working at a writing colony, specifically the Virginia Center for the Creative Arts. Post shares her process and includes pictures.

25 Things Writers Should Start Doing, by Chuck Wendig. There's a cool little graph at the top of Wendig's post, which includes things writers should immediately start doing like "Start Reading Poetry" and "Start Making Your Own Opportunities."

Why Google+ is an Inevitable Part of Your Content Marketing Strategy, by Brian Clark. This post isn't written specifically for writers, but it underlines why resisting (or avoiding) Google+ is futile. Reason number one for me is this: "Google+ is Google...period."

Is Your Book Good, Great, or Hot?, by Rachelle Gardner. As a literary agent, Gardner explains what makes a book hot, which often trumps books that are good and even great.

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The Good Side of My Father (Blissfully Series)

2012-01-15T09:15:00.000-05:00

Throughout 2012, I'll be sharing personal stories about myself on Sundays as part of this Blissfully Series. My life has already had its share of good moments and bad moments, and these are the ones I consider the most important to my life.

From the left, my brother Simon, my father, my grandfather, and me.

From my experience, there are many children who have complicated relationships with their parents. With five children myself, I completely understand this dynamic. Parents have the nearly impossible task of trying to guide their children to be independent thinkers who can make themselves happy without making other people unhappy.

As a result, parents are charged with being loving but also firm, which can be confusing for children. Throw in the fact that children often start off life thinking their parents are perfect--when in reality parents are messed up human beings themselves--and it's easy to see how things get off track frequently.

Anyway, I have a very complicated relationship with my father. But before I get into the complications of our relationship, I want to share the side of him that was perfect.

My Father, the builder
When we were kids (I grew up with two brothers), my father built us a bunk bed that doubled as a fort and had a G.I. Joe emblem painted on the outside. This wasn't a kit. My father actually designed it, went out and purchased the wood, and built it. Of course, we loved it.

But my father also would build things with other materials. For instance, he'd often take the mattresses off our beds, cushions off our couches, and blankets to build forts and secret bases for us. And of course, he'd wrestle us all as we ran around jumping on him, hitting him, kicking him, and pulling his hair. He took it all with a smile.

He turned our garage into a sort of low-budget sports training area by hanging up a basketball hoop on one end for basketball games that could be played any time of year and any time of the day or night. Plus, he cut a hole into another wall that represented a pitching strike zone for baseball, in which I'd spend hours practicing my fast ball. These advantages (that really didn't cost anything but a little imagination and willingness to cut a hole in the wall) helped me and my brothers grow up as athletes.

My Father, the organizer
My father loved games. He'd get all the kids in the neighborhood together to play wiffle ball, football, kickball, run races, complete obstacle courses, whatever. He was like the neighborhood gym teacher or something.

One time he went out and bought a bunch of these cheap plastic BB guns with little yellow rubber BBs, and he had all the kids in the neighborhood gather and have a massive BB gun fight. That's just the kind of thing he'd do.

My Father, the manager
Early on in my life, my father was more of like a stay-at-home mom than a typical bread-winning dad. He had a job here and there until latched on at Domino's Pizza, which is where he finally started to move up the chain of command.

At some point, my father was promoted to manager, and he even got his own store in Beavercreek. I remember there was a big grand opening celebration, and it was an exciting moment for me to see my father doing something so important.

He threw himself into his new role by listening to motivational tapes by big business leaders and motivators, and then he'd often share the main points with me. He worked hard and was rewarded with Manager of the Year honors, bonuses, and endless pizza.

The Good Side
My father always had a smile and an infectious laugh. In fact, he still does from time to time. He's a people person, who never shies away from a crazy idea and thinks anything is possible with enough hard work and the right attitude. Really, there's a lot about him that is good--and even great.

But nobody is perfect, and that's precisely where the real story of our lives often starts to emerge. More on that next Sunday.

*****

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Poetic Saturdays: Now This Is How We Roll

2012-01-14T07:00:00.000-05:00

Welcome to another post of Poetic Saturdays! If you missed the first one last week, click here to read "until further notice," reviews of two poetry collections, and more.

I'm excited to share a sestina this week! If you don't know what a sestina is, it's a poem in which you use 6 words to finish each line in a poem that is comprised of 7 stanzas (the first 6 stanzas are 6 lines long, the final has 3 lines). There's an alternating pattern of using the end words that I could explain, but instead, I'll see if you can figure it out with my brand new example below.

now this is how we roll, by Robert Lee Brewer

with our sonnets and pretty sestinas,
we strut to the open mic looking like
buttoned up versions of both walt whitman
and emily dickinson. we talk sin
but we live right, walk soft but uptight.
sure enough, we carry our umbrellas

as if they're canes instead of umbrellas.
who do we think we're fooling? sestinas
are one thing, but if you want your shit tight,
you should go free verse and burst slant rhymes like
a machine gun, son. it's fun when you sin
against poetic forms like walt whitman

spewing verses. o whitman, my whitman--
can you feel it, friend, on your umbrella?
i'm raining line breaks and rhyme medicine
for those suckers writing sestinas
like chumps. so move your rump, shake those lumps like
fergie, whether your body's loose or tight.

we'll poem all night and all them uptight
poets can buy a clue from walt whitman
and suck it, and then tuck it away like
the fakes they be. i've seen their umbrellas
tucked nicely beneath them like sestinas
they have yet to write. live your life like sin

again and again, my friend, if it's sin
that you write, and may your pant rolls be tight
if you think it's fun to write sestinas.
i mean, what in poe's name would walt whitman
do, fool? you think he'd pass out umbrellas,
or soak in all the rain and then rave like

some drunken lunatic who grows beards like
it ain't no thing? i sing, assassins,
i sing for poets without umbrellas
to shield them from your concealed rhymes turned tight
as lines broken right. you know walt whitman
sings everything--even sestinas,

especially when sestinas sound like
walt whitman covering the world in sin
before shaking loose his tight umbrella.

*****

Newer Book:

I Was the Jukebox, by Sandra Beasley

I Was the Jukebox: Poems
by Sandra Beasley (Norton)

Since my poem this Saturday was a sestina, there were few poets I could think of better suited for a review than Sandra Beasley, who I know is a fan of that particular poetic form. In fact, I Was the Jukebox includes a very funny sestina from the perspective of a platypus ("The Platypus Speaks")--not to mention one from an eggplant ("The Eggplant Speaks"). The first Beasley poem I ever read is included in this collection, "The Translator," which masterfully plays off the identity of those who translate another's voice; I remember reading it to my wife (before she was my wife) from an issue of Hotel Amerika over the phone while I was in Los Angeles. But it's not just for sentimental reasons that I love this collection; it's because once you enter a Beasley collection you realize you're in the presence of a master wordsmith, one who knows the rules and when to break them.

*****

Poems Found Online:

Where Father And Daughter Are Seekers, by Uma Gowrishankar from Qarrtsiluni
My Grandmother Speaks of Beauty, by Kimberly O'Connor from storySouth
Shining, by Arlene Ang from DMQ Review
Poem Noire, by Joshua Gray from Referential Magazine
If The World Is Crazy, We Will Be Crazy Too, by Mike Young from H_NGM_N

*****

Older Book:

Leaves of Grass
by Walt Whitman

Since he was an end word in my sestina above, I guess it's most appropriate for me to give a nod to Walt Whitman and his brilliant Leaves of Grass in this post. For those not familiar with Whitman, I did sneak in a nod here and there to his brilliant poetry within my sestina. The first time I read Whitman in high school, it was culture shock, and it really rocked me--the wrong way. But I couldn't resist coming back again and again over the years. I still have a copy of Leaves of Grass that I found in a used bookstore while I was in high school, and I keep it near me at all times--and will even bring it with me on long trips as a good luck charm of sorts. Leaves of Grass has truly earned its spot as a book within the bible of poetry, and like the Bible, I flip to random passages in this book for inspiration, guidance, and comfort.

*****

Note: Links in this post to books are affiliate links. However, I do not mention these books just to make a profit. They are either books I'm connected to or ones I truly love. All other links in this post are not affiliate links.

*****

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Top Media Feeds for Writers

2012-01-13T10:00:00.000-05:00

Earlier this year, I took over handling the Market Watch feature of WritersMarket.com. Our long-time contributor Debbie Ohi made the decision to move on to newer challenges, including her work illustrating children's picture books. So far so good on the Market Watch, and I've developed some favorite media feeds to check daily already.

Here are my favorite media feeds for writing-related information:

AdAge. Mainly for ad and marketing news, but that news includes information about online content and magazines.
Folio:. Devoted to magazine publishing news.
MediaBistro. Shares a daily newsfeed of media-related information, from print to online and from mobile to television.
Poynter. Focuses on journalism-related topics, and so, it's a little heavy on the newspaper side of the publishing/media industry.
Publishing Executive. PE is focused on the magazine industry.
AdWeek. Like AdAge, this site is mainly for ad and marketing news, but that often includes media-related news.
I Want Media. Collects headlines from across the Internet that are media-related.
Masthead. Focused on the Canadian magazine industry.
Publishers Weekly. Devoted to the book publishing industry.
Paid Content. Covers the emerging digital content industry, especially how it is monetized.

These are my favorite media feeds, though I use several others in addition to specific searches that I complete, which is why I think the Market Watch feature on WritersMarket.com is the best resource specifically for writers. However, trolling through these sites daily can be educational for those with too much time on their hands (or need to find a time killer that's more productive than playing Facebook's game of the week).

Do you have a favorite media feed that's not on this list? Please share with the Not Bob gang in the comments below.

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There's a Reason Why...

2012-01-12T22:05:00.000-05:00

...I have so many posts up on Thursday.

The original Flying Solo post from Wednesday was not linking to Facebook (and neither is the one about beginnings on Thursday) on account of it being marked as spam--by only Facebook, mind you. Anyway, I was testing out some different variations to figure out why.

The second version of Flying Solo (directly below) is not being marked as spam by Facebook, so I think I have the problem figured out, which also means I will hopefully be back to just one post a day. (Insert smiley face emoticon here.)

Flying Solo: Traveling to London Alone (Life Changing Moments Series)

2012-01-12T21:45:00.000-05:00

Jane Friedman kicked us off with the Life Changing Moments series of posts last week by talking about how community made an impact on her life. How interesting that my friend and fellow poet Collin Kelley decided to write about his experience traveling solo for the first time abroad, and--as you'll see in his story--it's amazing how the world communicates with us even when we're trying to be alone and anonymous. Collin is the author of the novels Remain In Light and Conquering Venus, as well as the poetry collections Better to Travel, After the Poison and Slow to Burn. A new collection, Render, is forthcoming from Sibling Rivalry Press in 2013. For more information on Collin, check out CollinKelley.com.

Poet, novelist, and friend Collin Kelley.

Many people don’t like to travel alone, especially to foreign countries, but in 2000 I decided that I was going to take a giant leap of faith and fly solo for the first time. And since I really wanted to challenge myself, I decided London would be my destination.

I had been to London a half-dozen times before 2000, but had always managed to drag along a friend or three to experience my favorite place in the world. In 2000, I had run out of friends to take, so I decided to go on my own. I had just turned 30 and decided that taking a trip with myself was another signifier that I was indeed "grown up."

My mother – fed on a steady diet of Americans lost in foreign lands stories – was nervous about my journey. I didn't have a cell phone at the time, so my contact back to America would be through the landline in my hotel room or the various payphones (remember those?) around the city. My mother asked: What if you get mugged? What if you get sick? What if you run out of money?

Luckily, none of those things happened, but traveling to London alone was a life changing moment for me. Since I'd been there before, I had already seen all the tourist hotspots, so I was free to explore smaller museums, go to movies, see shows and wander the old bookstores on Charing Cross Road. There was no companion watching the clock or urging me to move on to the next destination. I felt untethered and more than a little euphoric.

I had a weird sense that I dropped off the map a little bit, too. London is a big, loud city and it's easy to be anonymous there. I tried to dress like the locals – casual, but stylish – and I purposely did not bring a camera on the trip. There are no photos of me in London that year, so the trip remains a private memory that I cherish.

I should also add that I was in the process of getting over someone I had fallen madly in love with who did not return the sentiment. Going to London solo was a way for me to heal, collect my thoughts and move on with my life. I was in the process of writing my first novel, Conquering Venus, and it had taken a backseat while I worked out my love life.

On my last day in the capital, I was coming out of a cinema in Leicester Square after seeing the adaptation of Proust's Time Regained starring Catherine Deneuve and John Malkovich. An old woman wearing a long coat, her face a relief map of crevices and veins with frizzy hair tied under scarf, rushed up to me and pressed a small bundle of flowers – weeds, really – into my hand. "You did the right thing, my darling," she said. "You got away from him."

I was so taken aback by these words that I could only nod at the old woman and press a pound coin into her hand. Only later, as I sat on the steps of the famed Eros statute in Piccadilly Circus looking up at the dazzling lights of all the billboards and signs, did the tears come. Not of sadness, but of gratitude for this beautiful city. While I was feeling anonymous, London was fully aware of my presence and sending me messages through a strange old woman carrying a bundle of weeds.

Since then, I've traveled across America and Europe on my own more times than I can count, and I never feel afraid or nervous. I have great friends in London now, and while I might be flying solo, there are always welcoming arms on the other side of the pond. And London itself, ready to embrace me once again.

*****

If you think you have a great life changing moment to share, click here to learn how to get the conversation started. I'm sure if you think it's important, I may too.

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See how the Not Bob blog is getting a little more personal in 2012:

Do You Put Too Much Pressure on the Beginning...From the Beginning?

2012-01-12T11:15:00.001-05:00

Writers hear it all the time from agents, editors, readers, other writers, aliens, robots, etc.: Great writing has to hook readers from the beginning to keep them reading to the end.

Don't stress out too much about direction in the first draft.

And yes, this advice is true. Good writing hooks readers from the get-go, and great writing keeps readers hooked all the way to a satisfying conclusion. However, many writers have trouble separating the finished product from the first draft. Many writers have trouble releasing themselves from the pressure of writing an amazing first sentence/page/chapter, so that they can finish the first draft as a result.

Do you put too much pressure on the beginning...from the beginning?

The First Draft
The first draft is called the first draft, because it's assumed there will be more drafts. These other drafts help good writing turn into great writing. In these other drafts, the author will do things like cut the first 50 pages--or flip scenes--to start a novel where it should start.

As such, I want to give all writers who stress out about their beginnings (and middles and ends) during the first draft a piece of advice: Write first, revise later.

Find Your Way
Some of my best poems have evolved from lines that I wrote in other failed poems. Or I've written 30+ lines to cut it down to 10 (and find publication). In college, I wrote short stories and found the same process worked for me.

I'd write 30 pages and find that maybe 5 pages were worth reading. The tricky part of this process is that those 10 lines or 5 pages were rarely in the beginning, they'd be in the middle or near the end--when I was finding my way through my own thoughts.

You see, sometimes we need to write to figure out what we're trying to write (even if we think we know what we're trying to say). So please, don't trip yourself up trying to figure out the best opening sentence ever during your first draft. Just start writing and let the words fall where they may.

*****

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Check out previous Not Bob advice for writers:

Flying Solo: Traveling to London Alone (Life Changing Moments Series)

2012-01-11T07:00:00.000-05:00

Friend, poet and novelist Collin Kelley.

Build Your Platform in Person (by attending live events)

2012-01-10T07:00:00.000-05:00

The 2012 Writer's Digest Conference is just around the corner--January 20-22. While I'm not going to be working it this year, I have a few times in the past. New York City is always fun in and of itself, but beyond that, the panels and intensives always inspire me to accomplish great things and the Pitch Slam event (in which writers get to pitch literary agents face-to-face over a 3-hour period) is organized chaos that always seems to produce a success story or two each year. I'm sad to be missing it all.

My friend and Garden Gnome Attack expert, Chuck Sambuchino,
will be one of the presenters at the 2012 Writer's Digest Conference
in New York City January 20-22. Click here for more information.

However, I will be getting out and about a little in 2012, including a panel at AWP in Chicago (with Christina Katz, Jane Friedman, and Seth Harwood) and reading some poetry in Hickory, North Carolina. In fact, Tammy will be able to get out with me to both events (she'll be reading her poetry in Hickory too).

As shy as I can be, I'd be devastated to go a year without any events.

Here's the thing: Social networking online is all fine and dandy, but it's amplified when you actually do it in person. The advice is often better; the inspiration is even stronger; and the connections--the life force behind building a platform--are even deeper.

Personally, I think conferences give you the most bang for your buck. It's great if you can get to one close to home, but I believe taking a trip to hit a conference can really give you a unique vacation experience--that also helps your writing career! (Plus, if you're making money as a freelancer, this can be counted as a business expense for your freelance business.)

Here are some live events writers can attend:

Writing conferences. As I mentioned above, these are my favorites. They often provide lots of information and networking opportunities. Plus, larger ones tend to have nice freebies, and even smaller ones can offer critique and feedback sessions.
Workshops. These are different from conferences, because they are set up with the goal of workshopping your writing. This is a great opportunity, of course, and the smaller group size can help foster life-long connections.
Literary festivals. A highlight of my calendar the past two years has been reading poetry with Tammy at our local Decatur Book Festival here in the Atlanta area. It gives us a chance to get out of the house, share our poems, and hear some other great local, regional and national work. Plus, like any good festival, there's a lot of tasty (and horrible for your health) food.
Open mics. Popular with songwriters and poets alike, open mics afford writers a chance to test out their material and make local connections with other writers.
Book readings and signings. Bookstores and colleges often provide these free events that are meant to sell books. As a father of however many children I have now (I have trouble counting past two), I don't get out to these as much as I used to, but they always inspired me as a college student.

By the way, if anyone can suggest some great Chicago dining establishments, Tammy and I would appreciate it for AWP.

*****

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Check out previous Not Bob advice for writers:

Advice for Writers: 015

2012-01-09T07:00:00.000-05:00

Okay, we're more than a week into the new year now, so 2012 is starting to feel a little more real. Here's some advice for writers from around the way.

How I Got Two Job Offers and a $200-an-Hour Consulting Gig from Blogging, by Joe Bunting. I found this post on ProBlogger and thought it was worth sharing, because it illustrates that there's more than one way to find success as a writer in the new publishing/media/content/service/etc. environment. Keep your eyes, ears, and options open.

25 Things Writers Should Stop Doing, by Chuck Wendig. Chuck is a little foul-mouthed, but his advice is usually on the money. This is a nice post on things writers should stop doing right now to find success in 2012 and beyond.

Don't Drown Your Reader in Explanations, by K.M. Weiland. Communication is key for writers to connect with their readers. However, as Weiland points out, us writers can sometimes go a little overboard.

Community - What's In It For Me?, by Vaughn Roycroft. Vaughen opens his guest post on Writer Unboxed by explaining that he's not an author or blogger, but that his name still might ring a bell because of his involvement in online community. In fact, this post already has 100+ comments.

Do You Have a Marketing Plan?, by Rob Eagar. Eagar is a book marketing expert who reinforces the idea that a platform is an essential for potential authors. In fact, I would say that even if your goal is not to be a traditionally published author, platform-building is still important, because it's how you reach your audience.

Thankful Thursday - A Year of Success, by Kelli Russell Agodon. Kelli mentions a problem I often have; total success amnesia. It's the reason that I keep a list of all accomplishments throughout the year, because without that list, I'd totally forget. Kelli created a Success Chart, and she's made it available for free download for anyone else who needs one. Check it out!

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The Strangers Who Watched Me (Blissfully Series)

2012-01-08T10:29:00.001-05:00

Throughout 2012, I'll be sharing personal stories about myself on Sundays as part of this Blissfully Series. I shared the first post last Sunday (click to continue), and another one should magically appear next Sunday. My life has already had its share of good moments and bad moments, and these are the ones I consider the most important to my life.

As a boy, I loved curling up in tight spaces.

My first baby-sitter was my Aunt Sherlene. She's one of the nicer people I've ever met, so I know I got off to a good start. However, I was so young when she watched me that the memories I do have come without audio and are like two-second blips of footage and emotions.

Outside of family, there are four main baby-sitters who I remember the best. I'm not sure what process (if any) that my parents used to select sitters. As a kid, they often felt kind of random. But when you're a kid, there's the world of adults and the world of kids.

Mr. and Mrs. Shady
First of all, I'm not giving nicknames to each of my baby-sitters to be mean. And I'm not doing it to protect their identities. The simple fact of the matter is that I don't know who any of these baby-sitters are. These people who watched me through the day were all strangers outside of when they watched us.

So the first sitters I can remember were Mr. and Mrs. Shady. I may have distorted them over the years, but I always think of the Mr. Shady as kind of like Tom Petty with a moustache and Mrs. Shady as a female Tom Petty (without the moustache).

I remember having to take naps on their floor and eating (yes, eating) strings out of their carpet. (By the way, one of my earlier memories was eating ants outside on the back patio of our little house in Fairborn.) My appetite for thread may have been prompted by what they always made us eat: mushroom soup.

Seriously, that's all I remember these people ever feeding us. Mushroom soup or nothing. Except, we did go to a hospital or doctor's office once, and they gave us some Combos (pretzels and processed cheese-tasting product). Mmmmm.... To this day, I still can't stand to eat anything with mushrooms in it.

Lady Down the Street
The lady down the street was the mother to a "friend" of ours in the neighborhood. Of course, the kid wasn't really a friend of ours. He was a troublemaker through and through, and I wouldn't be surprised if he joined a gang when he got to high school (we moved out of Fairborn when I was in the 7th grade).

The lady down the street was always yelling at her kids, but I don't remember her being too mean or unfair with us. In fact, she worked with me some on learning how to tie my shoe laces as a kid. But we weren't there too long before moving on to...

The Waitress
This woman wasn't really a waitress, but she looked like one of those middle-aged women you might find in a diner who has a permanent scowl on her face. When she did smile, it was the forced kind that was seeking a tip. Her own children were young, and she took in more than just me and my brothers.

I'm probably being unfair to The Waitress, but she always sided with her own children, and I remember my brothers and I hating her for her favoritism. But I do remember she lived close enough to our elementary school that we would walk there after school when both my parents had jobs.

Grandma Sitter
This woman was not really our grandma--or a relative of any kind--but she was old and smoked like a carton of cigarettes every couple days. She watched us one summer, and I remember splashing around in her pool--one of those little, hard plastic ones--and playing endless games of Yahtzee by myself while watching videos on MTV.

She was nice enough, but all I remember of her were the cigarettes.

How Things Were
Now, there are a ton of childcare institutions and pre-schools. While those existed when I was a kid, baby-sitters were the norm--and were really the only affordable option for my parents. After spending days with these people, you might think I'd have better memories of them, but they were truly strangers who let us run through their houses and play with their kids.

There are times when I wonder if baby-sitters are a good or bad thing. In one sense, it opened me up to new people and gave me perspective on my own home. If I was watched at a childcare institution, I wouldn't have been able to compare one house to another.

But for better or worse, these were the strangers who watched me and helped shape me.

*****

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Poetic Saturdays: Until Further Notice

2012-01-07T07:00:00.000-05:00

Welcome to my first post for Poetic Saturdays! As some of you may know, I write poetry, maintain a popular poetry blog named Poetic Asides, and edit a directory of poetry publishing opportunities called Poet's Market. So it's only natural that I'd like to share my love of poetry on here too, and I think the best way to do so is on Saturdays--when folks have time to slow down and breathe in the world around them.

The basic structure of these posts will probably evolve over time, but right now I'm leaning toward sharing an original poem by myself, reviewing a book or two, and sharing links to poems I like from across the Internet. Eventually, I might work in a Q&A or two with other poets.

until further notice, by Robert Lee Brewer

there are only two socks in my dresser
that don't match. november was worse than this
thing called winter. i'm searching for nothing
specific. you can't tell me anything
that will ruin the night. the evening
has a nickname. i don't match the lesser
of two evils. my hands walk the picket
line for puppets. this pen is mightier
than the keyboard. i'm not sure how to feel
about things i can see and those i can't.

*****

Newer Book:

Paper House, by Jessie Carty

Paper House
by Jessie Carty (Folded Word)

For a paper house to stand, nearly everything needs to be just right. Such is the case with Carty's Paper House. What I love about the poems in this collection is that they never seem to take the easy way out, and Carty never appears to pull her punches, whether she's addressing baptism or cleavage. At the same time, she never goes too far, and it's this firm restraint in her poetry that really appeals to me.

*****

Poems Found Online:

The Arc of Field Stones, by Brandon Courtney from Boxcar Poetry Review
First Station, by Alice Bolin from Linebreak
Swaybacked, by Judith Skillman from The Pedestal Magazine
Apparition Poems, by Adam Fieled from Otoliths
5 Poems, by Ray Gonzalez from Diode

*****

Older Book:

Kill the Messenger, by Robert Kelly

Kill the Messenger
by Robert Kelly (Black Sparrow Press)

I read this book before I knew that Robert Kelly invented the lune. In fact, this is one of those books I found at a used book store and bought based off the random lines I read and loved. Kill the Messenger takes the reader on a journey of language, structure and inventiveness. Plus, it contains lines like, "Subways led to her, so he loved cities," and, "A vulture prances on a skull,/ tourists pass, their simple hearts/ greedy for experiences."

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Note: Links in this post to books are affiliate links. However, I do not mention these books just to make a profit. They are either books I'm connected to (in the case of Poet's Market) or ones I truly love (in the case of Carty and Kelly). All other links in this post are not affiliate links.

*****

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Don't Censor Your Happiness: Ignore the Naysayers!

2012-01-06T23:05:00.000-05:00

In this life, I've found there are two key emotions most people feel most of the time: Happy and Sad.

This is a happy face!

This is a sad face!

There are varying degrees of happy and sad. There are times when one person's happy makes another person sad. But generally, I think the world would be a better place if people quit censoring their happy and let it shine.

House Rules
My boys often ask me why I sing all the time and will even tell me to quit. But if there's one steady rule in the Brewer household, it's that anyone is allowed to sing--when they're not doing so maliciously (parents know when this can happen). So when I feel like singing, I sing.

If the one of the boys tries to tell another to stop singing, I quickly remind them that everyone has a right to sing. Everyone has a right to be happy and express that happiness.

Dancing Machines
I remember once driving to a park with a few friends--either to go for a run or play disc golf or something. Anyway, we had to take two cars. So one of my brothers rode with me, and we followed the other car. My brothers and I have always been big on dancing to music (and even acting out our own imaginary music videos)--even in the car. So while we were stopped at a red light, we were breaking it down to some Chemical Brothers or Wyclef or something.

When we got to the park, our friends started making fun of us. Now there's two ways we could've taken this attention: Pulled within ourselves and censored out the happy, or we could take it and dance even more the next chance we got.

You better believe I still rock it out, dance, and freestyle rap when I'm rolling in my Kia Spectra.

There's Nothing Cool About Being Miserable
One thing about this life is that there are never too many smiles. Another thing I've noticed is that smiles are contagious. If you smile regularly, people will smile regularly in return.

Now I'm no fool. I know this world has plenty of miserable people trying to erase all traces of happy from the earth. These people either don't know how to make themselves happy or believe it's not "cool" to be happy. They think it's "cool" to be serious or tough or mean or, well, whatever. If you've been led down this path, please wake up; there's still time to turn that frown upside down.

There is nothing cool about being miserable or making other people feel miserable. Cool is being happy even when you have every reason to complain. Don't censor your happiness; let it shine through in everything you do.

5 Quick Ways to Be Happy

Sing. Whether in public or private, whether out loud or in your head, sing the heck out of the day.
Dance. Again, you can do this in public or private, on the outside or keep those smooth moves on the inside. Dancing is a state of mind.
Smile. I'm telling you, if you smile, others around you will smile. If you don't smile, others will take you serious too.
Stop. And when you stop, think about what's going right in your life--even if it's just that you are alive. After all, being alive is a miracle.
Forgive. Forgive everyone who tries to crush your happiness, whether it's a snotty co-worker, person who honked at you for not driving 20 miles over the speed limit, or even a group of teenagers who jumped you late at night on a side street on your way home from work. Yes, I've been in all those situations, and I've found forgiveness always makes me happier than dwelling on my anger.

*****

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How Images Improve Blog Traffic

2012-01-05T09:00:00.000-05:00

I'm often slow about adopting new things. As such, I realize many bloggers already employ images in their blog posts on a regular basis. In fact, I even started using them more regularly in the final months of 2011 (and my traffic increased).

Images can be relevant, thought-provoking, humorous, etc.

Here are some reasons why images improve blog traffic:

Improves blog content. As a writer, I naturally want to think that my words alone are the content. However, images are content too, and they play a vital role in improving blog design. The more relevant the image the more it improves the content.
Increases visibility on social media sites. Facebook, Google+, and LinkedIn all reward links that include images by making them more visible in their streams and feeds and flows (and whatever elses). Heck, Tumblr is a visual blogging paradise.
Provides additional traffic via search engines. I've noticed some random posts gaining traction over the past few months, including one on fantasy football and one on remembering 9/11. Both seem to be gaining traction for two reasons: one, good SEO title; two, good SEO images.

One last reason: Recently, I was contacted by Kelly DiNorcia, who mentioned that she's an active user of Pinterest to "bookmark" resources she'd like to view later. Anyway, she said, "I tried to pin your 12/19 post 'Advice for Writers: 013' and it WOULD NOT PIN! I got an error message that said that it was because there was no image on the page to associate with the pin...I tried pinning other pages too, with no luck. I just wanted to let you know of the issue, I'm not sure how it can be corrected (or if you even care to correct it at all) but I thought you probably wouldn't want to miss out on an opportunity for social networking your site! It might be as easy as just including a graphic (photo or video) with each of your posts, or putting a photo in the header..."

Even though I've never used Printerest myself, this helped underscore the main point: Using images is imperative to maximizing blog traffic--even in ways I couldn't possibly anticipate.

Pssst...Here are a few tips on including images:

Include images that are relevant. Or humorous. Or thought-provoking.
Name the image file something relevant. If it's an image of a specific person or place, include that in the image file name. Think of possible search terms people might use on Google or Yahoo.
Use captions. This helps with search and with improving the relevancy of the image to the post, which only improves the overall content of the blog.

*****

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Finding and Longing for Community (Life Changing Moments Series)

2012-01-04T08:00:00.000-05:00

This is the first in a series of guest posts from people who are sharing moments that changed their lives. I asked Jane Friedman to kickstart the series, because she has been equal parts friend, leader, mentor, cheerleader, and inspiration for me. Anyone lucky enough to meet her knows she's smart and has a great sense of humor. Jane is an assistant professor of e-media at the University of Cincinnati. Plus, she is the former publisher of Writer's Digest and still offers advice for all types of creative people at her website and blog—http://janefriedman.com/.

Jane Friedman, media guru and friend

I grew up in a rural Indiana town of 2,000, where every year they still crown Little Miss Sweet Corn. It's a town of a dozen railroad crossings and no traffic lights. I went to sleep and awoke to the sound of train whistles, and my friends and I would lay pennies on the train tracks and collect flattened pieces the next day.

My town's high school consisted of 300 students, and that was after drawing from surrounding farming communities that didn't have high schools of their own. There wasn't much to do aside from go to school, visit the local library, and do what the local teens called "cruising." Cruising meant circling around town on the major thoroughfares—one mile per lap—with country music blaring.

As a bookish sort—always the first to raise her hand in class or volunteer to help the teacher—I didn't fit in too well. I tended to participate in activities I wasn't cut out for, just to fit in and have something to pass the time—track and field, volleyball scorekeeper, church youth group activities. These were pre-Web days, and even though I had a desktop PC, I had no way of learning how to program or finding more advanced activities, unless it involved raising livestock, welding, or preaching.

When I was a sophomore in high school, I saw a poster in the library announcing a new magnet high school for gifted and talented students, limited to juniors and seniors. It was called the Indiana Academy for Science, Mathematics, and Humanities, and there was no tuition because it was a publicly funded school.

Of course there was no doubt I would apply for admission, and my mother encouraged it. I was the only student from my high school to apply, and to this day, I'm still the only student from my hometown who has ever attended. That's partly because it's a 4-hour drive from my hometown to Muncie, Ind., where the Academy is based. Attending the Academy meant I wouldn't be at home more than once a month—during mandatory breaks—which my mother wished was even less often. (The drive was hellish when undertaken 4 times in one weekend, and Academy students were not allowed to have cars.)

I applied to the Academy because I wanted an academic challenge. But I was afraid of leaving my hometown friends, so much so that I hesitated to confirm my spot when I received my acceptance letter. My mother nearly went out of her mind with frustration when I indicated I might not go. How could I pass up a tremendous opportunity to improve my education because of friends?

So in fall 1992, a new world opened up.

For the first time, I was surrounded by people smarter than I, people who were far more advanced in their schoolwork. I had to take the lowest level math courses since I was so far behind everyone else. But I devoured the eccentric and deep-dive literature classes, such as Lost Generation Literature, Shadow Literature, and Shakespearean comedies.

For the first time, I found friends who I had something in common with aside from geography.

For the first time, I found that boys could really be interested in me.

For the first time, no one made fun of me.

It was only after graduating from the Academy that I realized its biggest gift had nothing to do with the education (though that was invaluable, too); it was the gift of a community that accepted me and gave me permission to become whoever I really was. I developed confidence, a unique voice, and a foundation of independence that I later built upon while in college.

Today, I still retain some social awkwardness and introversion, someone for whom making new friends feels more difficult than it ought to be. What's so paradoxical is that the Academy has been both helpful and harmful when it comes to such tendencies. The Academy showed me what real friendships look like; it was a far more intimate and personal bonding experience than what I found in college.

But because I once lived and breathed in a tight-knit community of like-minded people, I'm impatient and dismissive of anything less—and since then, I live with a distant desire in my heart, a dream of finding another community that can be that personal and meaningful.

*****

If you think you have a great life changing moment to share, click here to learn how to get the conversation started. I'm sure if you think it's important, I may too.

*****

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See how the Not Bob blog is getting a little more personal with these posts:

My Father is Running for President.
I Began as Eyelashes Blocking the Sun. From the new Blissfully series.
Confession of a Man With a Moustache.

That's Permanent: Treating the Internet Like a Tattoo

2012-01-03T08:00:00.000-05:00

A few folks out there are really freaking out about this whole new timeline thing on Facebook. On Google+, Mike Elgan referred to the timelines as the "Facepocolypse"--before sharing these tips on how to wipe out old Facebook posts. Maybe I should be freaking out too, but I'm not.

He can shave the beard, but that tat is there to stay.

I'm sure I have a few dumb status updates, but I doubt there's anything completely horrible out there. How can I be so confident? Well, I've pretty much been treating my public broadcasts on social media sites (whether Facebook, Twitter, message boards, etc.) as if they are permanent tattoos.

Here are a few tips for avoiding embarrassing posts (and having to hunt them down when sites like Facebook make them easier to find):

Think before you post. Even if it's a status update or tweet, take a moment to consider if a post will embarrass you now (or in the future).
Think after you post. Most sites allow you to delete posts after you've made them. If you realize 5 seconds (or 5 hours) after your post that it was dumb, take the time to hunt it down and delete sooner rather than forgetting about it later.
Edit each post. Before hitting the "post" button, be sure to search for errors in spelling and grammar. You don't have to be 100% perfect (because it is still social media), but you do want to avoid obvious and fixable mistakes.
Don't post drunk. Or mad. Or lonely. Or in some other extremely emotional state. Let the moment pass before sharing a side of yourself that you'll regret later.
Avoid public fights on social media sites. Public fights, whether online or offline, tend to make everyone uncomfortable, especially those who may feel loyal to both parties. Don't put your friends and followers in the middle by having big public fights. Try to resolve problems through private messages or by being the bigger person.
Share meaningful posts. If you want to share status updates, try sharing thought provoking comments or links to helpful (or interesting) information. For blog posts, think about how your post might help or inspire your readers. If you want to share a story about picking up pizza for dinner, try your best to make that story interesting or insightful.

Do you have any tips on how to post with care? Please share them in the comments below.

*****

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Check out previous Not Bob advice for writers:

Blogging Tips for Writers.
6 Tips for Writers to Own the New Facebook Timelines.
Facebook Tips for Writers. (A little outdated, but still a decent read.)

Advice for Writers: 014

2012-01-02T12:04:00.000-05:00

Happy New Year! Here's my first load of advice from online for 2012!

New Year's Resolution? More Resolutions. More Resolve, by Julianna Baggott. The author of Pure and Girl Talk--and the owner of multiple writing identities--Baggott resolves to continually re-resolve each week in 2012. Great idea! I don't know that I've ever done it weekly, but it is something I tend to do every month or three.

What's Your Brick Wall, by Rachelle Gardner. Literary agent Rachelle Gardner--who admits she is herself a brick wall of the publishing process--talks about the brick walls between writers and their goals and why it's important to find ways over, under, or through them.

18 Speedy Ways for Freelancers to Earn Extra Money that Actually Work, by Alex Mathers. Here are 18 ideas for freelancers to make money--from consulting to cutting expenses.

10 Years Later: Just Posted My Last Publishing Industry News Column for WritersMarket.com, by Debbie Ridpath Ohi. I can't believe I've been working with Debbie for 10 years now, but it's true. She's cutting the chord to try achieving new goals, and I hope she achieves them all (and more). While it's nice of her to say that I've been a good editor, she has been a truly fantastic freelancer. Happy trails!

Best Articles for Writers 2011, by Carol Tice. Great list of articles for writers that covers topics such as writing for revenue sharing and how to plan ahead to write blog posts that go viral.

Let's make 2012 the best year yet!

*****

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Check out previous Not Bob advice for writers:

I Began as Eyelashes Blocking the Sun (Blissfully Series)

2012-01-01T08:00:00.000-05:00

Welcome to the Blissfully series of blog posts I'm doing for 2012. Every Sunday, I'll be sharing a personal post about my past. The title of the series is taken from the song "The View," by Modest Mouse: "And if it takes shit to make bliss, then I feel pretty blissfully." I've had some good moments and some bad moments, and the Blissfully series will share the ones I consider the most important to my life.

Robert Lee Brewer (Painting by Didi Menendez)

The world began for me--my first memory--as black lines and sunshine. For the longest time, I thought I was viewing gigantic blades of grass. It wasn't until I was much older that I could appreciate the length of my own eyelashes. Instead of viewing Whitman's leaves of grass, I realized I began as eyelashes blocking the sun.

For years and years, I misinterpreted my own first memory. As such, take these memories for the faulty and flimsy things they are. I promise I will do my best to accurately capture the various important moments of my life. When possible, I'll try to protect the identities of the folks involved--though there will be moments when that is impossible. (Sorry in advance, identities I can't protect.)

Whether by grass or eyelashes, I've always considered the black lines and sunshine memory a comforting one, though I could understand it being interpreted as scary for others. Maybe that's why I was always known as a happy kid. My mom used to tell me how I would run up to strangers in public and give them hugs. Even now, I receive feedback from people on how I always seem to be smiling. It's just part of my DNA to look on the bright side of things.

Unfortunately, this series of posts will not just be a collection of hugs and sunshine. In fact, some posts may even have a little note at the beginning to warn of graphic content. That said, I do think everything that happens--the good, the bad, and the in between--is supposed to happen. So I may have made it through some bad moments, but there aren't any black clouds hanging over me. They made me who I am.

But my life (and this series) is not just a collection of bad news. There will be good posts to balance out the bad. I'm going to attempt to go in chronological order. I'm going to attempt to be accurate. I'm going to attempt not to hit my head anymore.

This post began with my first memory, and I shared my mom's memory of me running up to hug strangers (kids, do not follow my example). I'll end this post with another shared memory. It's about when I got a scar over my right eye. It's harder to see now than when I was a child, when it was very obvious.

The story goes like this: My father was driving with my brother David and I in our unsecured car seats, and he got into a wreck. My unsecured seat flew face first into the dashboard. Apparently, face covered in blood, I kept just touching the blood and looking at my fingers without crying. Meanwhile, David dangled upside down bawling away.

As a child hearing this story, I always used it as proof that I was somehow tougher than other people. It's a perfect example of what doesn't kill you makes you psychologically stronger. Of course, I'm now smart enough to know the only reason I wasn't crying is that I probably suffered a concussion. David reacted appropriately.

Anyway, there's the truth of what happened, and there's the truth according to us. History--even a personal history--is a complicated journey. I hope you enjoy the ride.

*****

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Learn more about me and my peeps in these posts:

My Father is Running for President (in New Hampshire anyway)

2011-12-30T10:11:00.000-05:00

So a little earlier this year, I learned that my father was trying to drum up some money to get on the Republican primary ballot in New Hampshire. Then, I learned he did register. Earlier today, my brother sent a bunch of links (included below) that covered a debate with the lesser known candidates.

Timothy Brewer, Republican primary candidate
and my father. Credit: Marc Nozell.

My brain has been trying to process the best way to handle this information on my blog for a while now, but I don't think there is a best way. In 2012, I'll be sharing personal stories on Sundays throughout the year. Some of those will involve my father--just as some of my poetry has involved my father--and that will probably help add context to our relationship.

In the meantime, enjoy these links about Republican primary candidate Timothy Brewer:

Lesser known candidates in the spotlight. AP story on BostonHerald.com. My father's name is Timothy Brewer--just in case the last name wasn't a good enough clue.
Lesser-Known Candidates Square Off In Manchester. WMUR-New Hampshire has some video from the event. At least my father is not wearing a boot on his head.
There are other candidates to choose. 6abc.com (in Philly) gives my father the lead in this piece on the December 19 debate.
Dayton area man running for president. This piece ran in the Dayton Daily News, which was the paper I grew up reading for stat lines and commentary on Cincy sports teams. Oh yeah, and the comics.
Timothy Brewer on large field of candidates. In this video, my father dodges his question and sticks to his primary message about orbs, Jesus, and the afterlife.
Lesser Known Presidential Candidates Make Their Case in New Hampshire. WBIN-TV spot features my father around the 42-second mark. He's one of 40 Republican candidates in the New Hampshire primary.
Part 1 Lesser-Known Candidates Form 12-19-11. This is one part of the debate. The rest is there for those who are interested. My father makes his 2-minute intro starting around the 8-minute mark. As my brother observed, he brought his Santa Claus hat with him--but probably decided against wearing it when he saw the guy with a boot on his head.

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Robert's Rules of the Road

2011-12-28T09:46:00.000-05:00

As a telecommuter, I love (looooooooooooooooooooovvvvvvvvvveeee) that I don't have to fight with traffic every morning to get to and from work. I just get up and start working--though, of course, this creates a whole new set of problems, including finding the "off" switch for work. However, even though I don't do regular battle with rush hour, I do go on long trips (500+ miles) more than the average bear.

Nothing like being stuck on the open road.

So here are my top rules of the road for tackling long trips:

Pack the day before. Long trips are usually more successful with just a little preparation before hitting the road. This preparation includes packing any clothes, cell phones, toothbrushes, etc. It also includes food, so...
Stock up before hitting the road. Fill your gas tank and hit the grocery store (where prices are cheaper than gas stations) for any snacks or drinks to help handle the long haul. If you want something healthy snacks, try packing a small cooler with veggies and fruit.
Bring good music. If you prefer to drive in complete silence, then that's great: Ignore this rule. However, music really helps me pass the time and, believe it or not, some sections of the country have little to offer as far as radio stations are concerned.
Have a means of finding alternate routes. Maps are helpful, but I've used my Droid Incredible a few times in the past year to help me navigate around horrible traffic, including an Interstate that was completely shut down for a wreck. Most welcome centers when you cross state lines offer complimentary road maps.
Always be aware of the weather. Especially if you have a little leeway in when you can make the trip, be sure to check that you won't be driving through several lines of thunderstorms or a blizzard or something. Once again, I love my smart phone for storm situations. Earlier this year, I ran into some bad thunderstorms and wasn't sure what to expect. My Weather Channel app showed on radar that if I waited about 20 minutes, the nasty stuff would pass. So I stopped, refueled, ate some dinner, and then got back on the road.
Fill up at 1/4 tank. Unless you know you're going to get several more chances to refuel, I recommend hitting gas stations whenever the tank gets to around 25% full. Usually, you'll still be good for a long time with a quarter tank, but I've had some nerve-wracking moments in the past in which the leap from one exit to the next was way longer than I would've expected. That said, if you stop for food or the restroom with half a tank left, do yourself a favor and top off the tank--just in case you get "in the zone" between that stop and the next.
Everyone uses the restroom at every stop. Whether I'm traveling alone or with the entire Brew crew (four boys, one baby girl, my wife and I), everyone uses the restroom at every stop. Each stop can add 10+ minutes to the overall trip, so I try my hardest to make the most of each one. Related to saving time...
Drive 5-10 mph over the limit. I don't advocate breaking the law (and anything over the posted speed limit could result in a speeding ticket), but this is the range I usually drive. The only times I've been pulled over for speeding have been when I break that 10-mile threshold--so this is my own personal calculated risk to save time. On a 500-mile trip, driving at an average speed of 70 mph comes out to 7:08 of pure driving time. Meanwhile, an average speed of 80 mph comes out to 6:15. So an extra 10 mph (on average) can save nearly an hour on the overall trip. Just remember: You can be ticketed for driving even one mph over the posted speed limit--so follow my example at your own risk.
Give plenty of space. Worst trip ever (and only about 100 miles): I was the passenger in a car with a college roommate who gave about two feet of separation between his front bumper and the rear bumper of whichever car was in front of him as it rained heavily the whole trip. It would've just taken one small error on his part or the cars up front to kill or seriously injure us all. Please, please, please--whether the weather is stormy or sunny--give space between bumpers.
Break up trip into segments. This rule is just one that helps me break long trips into manageable segments. After all, there's the physical endurance of a long trip, but there's also a psychological endurance--and segmented driving helps me overcome that.

These rules have served me well over the years, but there's a superstitious part of me that now expects to receive a ticket for driving three miles over the limit before running out of gas on the side of the Interstate and then (after refueling) getting into a wreck for tailgating in a blizzard.

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Waking on Christmas Morning!

2011-12-25T10:35:00.000-05:00

Merry Christmas! Santa Claus visited last night and left a lot of goodies for the boys and Hannah. Plus, Tammy and I got some gifts for them too. Reese is at his dad's, while Ben and Jonah are with their mom, so it's just the four of us this Christmas morning.

Reese will be joining us early this afternoon, and I'll be driving up to Ohio to collect Ben and Jonah tomorrow. I can't wait to have everyone together!

I've included some pictures from this morning below, and I may add more after the other boys have their moments to open presents. But first, I want to share an older poem that I included in my first chapbook, ENTER.

Waking

Ben can't find the man
he was playing with
just a moment ago.

Jonah rolls across the floor
covered in blankets
and trying to eat
anything near his mouth.

Ben's afraid Jonah
ate his man
but Jonah's not talking--

his mouth now full.

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Christmas Tree!

Santa left Will a bike...

...and a stocking!

Mommy and Daddy got Will some presents, including...

....Darth Vader Transformer...

...and Chuck and Friends.

Obviously, he loves his bike helmet as much as (or more than) his bike.

And Daddy wasn't the only taking pics. Mommy and Hannah were too!

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Put a Plan Into Action: And The 2012 My Name Is Not Bob Editorial Calendar

2011-12-23T09:13:00.002-05:00

As a creative person, I'm often excellent about devising a ton of ideas on everything from characters for my stories and poems to products and services for work. My problem--or better word challenge--is often putting these ideas (some good, most bad or mediocre) into action.

Here's my process from idea to action:

Store the ideas. I'm constantly dreaming stuff up, and I store all my ideas on paper and Post-It notes. I find that if I don't write my ideas down, I usually lose them forever. So I always keep pen and paper on me or near me. (And I get out of bed to jot down ideas if needed.)
Collect the ideas. Some ideas immediately turn into a poem or a blog post. But many are collected in myriad notebooks I keep. I own many notebooks that are stuffed with ideas that will stay there--waiting for someone else to breathe life into them.
Outline the ideas. Not all my ideas are immediately developed or disappear. Some of the more complicated ideas sit and collect steam. I often revisit my notebooks and realize which ideas seem to have more staying power. For these ideas, I will eventually create an outline to help me put the idea into action.
Develop a plan. Once I have a somewhat developed idea (thanks to my outline), I develop a plan for executing that idea. Sometimes, it's as simple as writing a blog post. Other times, I might have to develop a proposal or--in the case of this blog, I've created an editorial calendar for 2012 (see below).
Execute the plan. This part of the process is most often the stumbling block for me, and it's usually how I know if I'm really devoted to the original idea or not. If I'm really passionate about an idea but still have trouble executing the plan, I usually find that I've either skipped or short-changed a step earlier in the process.

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Anyway, I used the process above to make a plan for the My Name Is Not Bob blog in 2012. Here's the current editorial calendar, which will go into effect starting on January 1, 2012:

Sunday--Blissfully. I plan to share a different personal story from my past on every Sunday. Some of the stories will be delightful, others will be nightmarish, but they'll all be me--and they'll all be true.
Monday--Advice for Writers. I started getting into a rhythm sharing the best advice for writers from various online sources on Mondays. I plan to be even more consistent with this feature in 2012.
Tuesday--Platform Advice. Since I feel strongly that one of the most important elements to writers' success in the new landscape of publishing and media is an exceptional platform, I plan to share a weekly feature on how best to develop this tool for success.
Wednesday--Life Changing Moments. Of all the features I'm planning for 2012, this is the one I'm most excited to share, because it will be completely guest post driven. Each Wednesday, a new person will share one moment that changed his or her perspective on life. Some of the first posts will be written by the likes of Jane Friedman, Collin Kelley, Nin Andrews, and Scott Owens.
Thursday--Successful Writers. Currently, I'm imaginging this slot will include interviews and guest posts from writers who have and still are experiencing success with their writing pursuits. I imagine this slot will include success stories from poets, novelists, bloggers, ghostwriters, business writers, and more.
Friday--Make the World Better Today. Two main objectives are driving my 2012 editorial calendar: helping writers find success and helping to make the world a better place (through sharing my own stories and the stories of others). This Friday slot will share tips on how to make the world better immediately. My hope is that eventually this will be at least partially guest post driven too.
Saturday--Poetic Saturdays. I plan to use Saturdays to share one of my poems and also link to some of my favorite online poetry of the week.

If you'd like to offer a guest post for 2012 (or be interviewed), please click here to learn how you can participate. I think I'm pretty easy to approach and work with, so don't be afraid to bounce around some ideas. The days which I'll need the most help will likely be Tuesday, Thursday, and Friday, though if you think you have a great story for Wednesday, I'd like to hear that too.

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My 2012 To-Do List

2011-12-20T12:10:00.004-05:00

Earlier this year--the first day of the year actually--I posted My 2011 To-Do List. I'm happy to report that I accomplished two (and a half) of my six goals. I published a collection of poetry (actually two), helped my Tiger Cubs have a great year, and I did pay off all my credit cards--but then we had Hannah and now we're back in a position of paying down our debt. So it goes.

The reason I'm not bummed that I only had a 33% success rate is that I can try again in 2012, and I'm an eternal optimist!

Here's my 2012 To-Do List:

Make 300+ Not Bob blog posts. In 2009, I posted 23 times; in 2010, I made 61 posts; and this year will probably finish with around 180-ish. With a spiffy editorial calendar I've been developing for a few months, I think 2012 is going to share some of the best Not Bob posts ever.
Eat healthier and exercise regularly. I think one of my problems with achieving health-related goals in 2011 is that I quantified the process. As a result, I either put off certain tasks because I "still had time" to get them later, or I gave up completely because "I was out of time" to hit certain numbers.
Run a half-marathon. For 2011, I wanted to run a marathon. However, training for a marathon is a huge (and overwhelming) process. In 2012, I'm going to shoot for an easier objective with the hope that if I can check this off my list that I'll be ready to take the next step in 2013.
Help Den 2 Cub Scouts have another great year. My Tiger Cubs are now Wolves, and they'll be Bears by the end of 2012. As in 2011, my goal will be to help them achieve their goals, learn more about the world around them, and have fun in the process.
Pay off all credit cards. As I mentioned above, Tammy and I actually accomplished this task at one point in 2011, but then, we had Hannah and were forced to stretch our financial resources a bit through the end of this year. However, we're in a great position to check this off the list in 2012--and keep it crossed out going forward. Then, we can focus on eliminating all our other combined debts.
Assemble a full length collection of poems. In 2011, I published and sold out two poetry chapbooks. In 2012, I'd like to at least assemble a full length collection--and for extra credit, secure publication for it.

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6 Tips for Writers to Own the New Facebook Timelines

2011-12-19T23:20:00.000-05:00

Like it or not, Facebook is going to be changing how profiles work and look again--in the very, very near future--and you have two options. One, you can wait for the changes to happen to you and be completely unprepared for them, or... Two, you can carpe diem your way into a slick timeline today.

Don't wait to cross over to the new timelines. Check out mine here.

Don't wait for the new Facebook timeline to happen to you. Instead, proactively take it on now. It'll make the whole process of interface change less traumatic--and this is coming from someone who has written a blog post on the effects of interface changes on users.

Personally, my first impression upon seeing the new timeline design was, "Ugh! Looks cluttered and MySpace-y. Total, absolute yuck!" However, after hearing from other first adopters about how cool it was, I decided to give it a try over the weekend--and I actually think I might like it better than the past few Facebook "upgrades."

How to Get Started
To get the whole process moving, follow these simple steps:

Log in to Facebook.
Type the word "timeline" in the search box in the top center of your home page.
Select "Introducing Timeline," which should pop up as you complete step 2.

Once you're on this page, you can view samples, read more on the process, and even watch some video on the whole timeline process. But the best thing to do is to just get started playing around with it.

Don't worry! The timeline won't go "live" until you click the Publish button.

Quick Tips for Managing Your Timeline
I admit that I'm still figuring things out and playing around with my own timeline, but here are some tips I've already picked up from trial and error.

Pick an interesting cover image. This image will kind of act as the header image for your new timeline profile page. It's a horizontal image, and it's much larger than your profile pic. Most folks have been choosing landscapes and/or other non-people images, and I think that's a pretty good rule of thumb for getting started. However, don't be afraid to try something else--just realize this cover image is pretty important for setting the tone on your whole timeline/profile page.
Shuffle your apps to match your preferences. For instance, there are little boxes for your Friends and Photos next to other information about you. But I swapped out the default Map that was displaying with Notes. And you can be sure I'll be playing around with it more to see if something else is even more appropriate.
Check out all your posts. For some people (like myself), this sounds like an almost impossible task. But it's possible. Maybe just try to tackle one month's worth of posts per day. It might take a month or three, but you'll eventually get through everything. While you're checking things out...
Hide inappropriate or boring posts from your timeline. In fact, since photos are so easy to find, I've been hiding posts about downloading images. To do this, hover over the right side of any post, click the "Edit or Remove" button, and click "Hide From Timeline." On the other hand, you can also...
Highlight super important posts. To do this, hover over the right side of the super important post and click the "Feature" button, which looks like a star. I've done this for the month of December on my timeline for some of the more popular NOT BOB posts.
View As a random Facebook user. It helps to know how others will view your timeline to make decisions about how to edit it. To do view as a random Facebook user, click the dropdown just below your cover image on the right side and select "View as..."

As others have pointed out to me, one nice feature about the timeline is that it makes the process of finding older posts easier. I mean, the pre-timeline profile isn't the easiest to search for older posts. This one allows you to go back by month, year, etc. I'm not saying it's the greatest social media profile interface that will ever be created, but I'm starting to think it's not a step backward either.

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Advice for Writers: 013

2011-12-19T07:31:00.004-05:00

Here's some advice for writers I've collected from around the Internet. Believe it or not, there's still a lot of it being dispensed during the holiday season.

The Big Mistake of Author Websites and Blogs, by Jane Friedman. This post reveals a big mistake that many authors make regarding their use of websites and blogs. A must-read!

25 Things Writers Should Know About Rejection, by Chuck Wendig. Sometimes to overcome a fear, you have to face it, and that's exactly the purpose behind this post. Rejection really isn't so bad; everybody's doing it. And it's the risk you take to find success.

Copyblogger Editor Admits to Sleeping With Readers and Recommends You Do the Same, by Jonathan Morrow. This post is written for copywriters, but it's really relevant for all writers. In fact, it's one of the more important skills a writer can develop.

Why Writers Must Make Themselves Easy to Contact, by Chuck Sambuchino. This is not a skill, but it is one of the most important tasks a writer can complete to help foster success: Make yourself easy to find, discover, and contact.

Increase Your Story's Suspense With Breadcrumbs, by K.M. Weiland. Another nice little vlog (video blog post) from Weiland. If you'd rather read than view your advice, don't worry; she always includes a video transcript.

Perfecting Prose - What I Learned From Being a RITA Finalist, by Karen Witemeyer. The author of A Tailor-Made Bride shares what she's learned from the process of being nominated for a RITA for Best First Book.

The Pippi Longstocking Guide to Freelance Success, by Carol Tice. Tice has extracted 7 takeaways for freelance writers from watching the original Pippi Longstocking movie with her daughter. See? You can find insight anywhere if you're really looking.

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The Secret to Being Awesome: Attention to Detail

2011-12-18T23:23:00.000-05:00

Nearly 12 years ago, I started interning at F&W Publishing (now F+W Media) and made instant fans of my work that helped me get a part-time paid editing gig while I finished college before earning a Production Editor title (and full-time job) after graduation. My secret to success wasn't due to any kind of special talent or magical powers. Instead, it was my attention to detail.

For instance, the editor of Writer's Market at the time (Kirsten Holm) loved me because I actually returned neatly straightened stacks of paper in neatly straightened stacks--and in order. To me, this seemed like a no brainer approach to working, but...that's not how many others worked.

Please and Thank You
Aside from straightening stacks of paper, I also say, "Please" and "Thank You" without thinking. It's just part of how I'm wired, and I believe that's a good thing--even though I do get joked at some times for saying "Thank You" when the cashier completes my order at fast food drive-thrus.

I'm always surprised when people make comments about how I'm the only person who says "Please" and "Thank You." These small details in communicating with people really make them feel better. Take the time to include them, and you're suddenly super.

Asking Questions
One thing I made a priority when I started working for F&W way back when was to always ask questions when I didn't understand something--even if I felt like I was exposing myself as being stupid or a pest. My reasoning is that I'd rather learn how to do something the right way (and make sure I was doing it the right way) than to make guesses and totally screw up my tasks.

As a result, I always emphasize the importance of asking questions to people who work with and under me. I'm almost always disappointed with the work done by people who never ask questions, because they try to guess their way to perfection--and usually guess the wrong way.

Other Ways Freelancers Can Be Awesome
Asking questions, saying "Please" and "Thank You," and even returning neat stacks of paper are great ways for freelance writers to go from being "a dime a dozen" to being "awesome," but there are some more common sense ways to elevate your awesomeness:

Read and follow submission guidelines. Seems easy enough, but you'd be surprised how many writers do not know how to follow detailed instructions for submitting their work.
Follow up (politely). Some writers don't know how to follow up, others don't know how to do so politely. Freelancers who can be polite and follow up always earn a gold star in my notebook. Sometimes a quick follow up helps the editor as much as the writer--and a polite one benefits both parties.
Meet deadlines. I usually build in a buffer period for my editorial deadlines, because many freelance writers have this bad habit of asking for extensions. While I am usually able to accommodate (because of my buffer zone), it's the freelancers who hit--or beat--their deadlines who earn awesome points from me.
Do your research. Whether you're researching the best markets for submitting your work or learning obscure details for an assigned article, writers who can roll up their sleeves and do some top notch research (and then effectively use what they've learned) are often zen masters of supreme awesomeness.
Be organized. Know where your past contracts are. Keep records of where and when you've made submissions. Keep receipts for expenses and invoices for collecting payment from editors. The organized freelance writer is the awesome freelance writer.

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What Is the Right Answer for Writers?

2011-12-17T09:06:00.003-05:00

For almost 12 years now, part of my job as an editor has been to dispense advice to writers on the best way to do X or the most practical method of accomplishing Y. Since I wanted to be a teacher in high school and college, it's a part of my job that I've always loved.

Should I or shouldn't I?

At the same, my advice is only one view. Other editors have different preferences and ways of handling submissions than I do. Some editors are more demanding or particular. Some editors communicate more; many communicate less.

So when I share my answers on how to handle situations, I do it from my own experience and from the experiences that have been relayed to me from other editors and agents. I believe 100% in the advice I share, but I'm also always looking for views and strategies that are different than mine. You should too!

Instead of searching for THE right answer, search for YOUR right answer.

Listen to the advice of experts like myself and my Tweeps to Follow List, but use your own gut to determine the best path for you. If you're in a situation that seems like a bad idea and everyone else says it's bad, then you should probably follow everyone's advice. If you're in a situation that seems like a great idea but nobody told you to go that way, don't hold back from cutting your own path.

It's your writing career, and if you want to find success, there are going to be times when you need to make decisions that can't be easily answered on a "10 Tips to Handle X" list. When it comes to these decisions, follow your gut and try to be brave. Use your brain, but don't let it "reason" you into avoiding an opportunity. If it feels right and you can't find a legitimate reason not to try, then go for it.

Successful writers are those who are not afraid to fail and who learn from their mistakes and the mistakes of others. So I'll say it again for emphasis...

Instead of searching for THE right answer, search for YOUR right answer.

You may not always succeed, but I doubt you'll be disappointed with the overall results.

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How to Fix Stalled Camera on Android Smart Phone

2011-12-15T14:20:00.000-05:00

I love my HTC Droid Incredible, but there have been a couple occasions in which the camera has stalled. Basically, it just quits working and gives a black screen. The first time it happened, I couldn't back out of the camera (like I usually do), so I just shut the whole thing down--hoping that re-booting it would fix the problem--but the camera would still stall when I would try opening it. Arrrgghhh!!!!

But it's happened twice to me now, and both times I used this same solution. Hopefully, these steps will help anyone else who runs into a similar problem.

How to Get Home From the Stalled Camera

Click the Home Icon on your phone.

It's as simple as that. I always use that back arrow to back out of programs and onto my home page. So I totally overlooked the obvious solution. However, this does not fix your camera.

How to Fix Your Stalled Camera on Android

Click to Restart your phone. Unlike just selecting Power Off, the Restart close all apps before restarting the phone--and that appears to be the secret to getting the camera working again.

So this is one of those rare how-to posts that require just one-step instructions. Crazy, huh?

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Most Popular NOT BOB Posts for Writers 2011

2011-12-12T22:22:00.000-05:00

From the birth of my first daughter to self-publishing (and selling out) two poetry chapbooks (and so many other great events), 2011 has been a really great to me in so many ways. I know I've still got a few very big weeks left, but I wanted to go ahead and collect the most popular NOT BOB blog posts for writers of 2011.

The two most popular posts are actually lists:

Best Blogs for Writers to Follow. This list needs updated, because some of the URLs have changed, but it does include some very good blogs for writers to check out. Look for the updated list in the beginning of 2012.
Best Tweeps for Writers to Follow 2011. This is my second annual list of great tweeps for writers to follow on Twitter. It's still relatively new and very useful.

The lesson here is that there's nothing more popular than shining the light on your fellow writers and publishing folk.

Beyond these lists, there were 20 writing-specific posts that rose above all others. Here are the 20 most popular NOT BOB posts for writers in 2011 (in order):

11 Google+ Tips for Writers. It's still fresh and new, but it's the emerging social network at the moment. In fact, I'm looking forward to learning more about how Blogger and Google+ are going to work together later this week.
The 8 Jobs of Modern Writers. This post is less than a week old, but it's already skyrocketed to the top of this list. And the comments are as valuable as the post.
11 Tips for Writers to Find Success. I posted this list to celebrate 11/11/11, but it is interesting that two of the top three posts have 11 tips.
LinkedIn Tips for Writers. The more professional social networking site, I've found that each recommendation I've received on the site has made my entire week.
Impact of eReaders on Writers. I wrote this post in the first half of the year and already so much has changed in the publishing world.
Social Media Etiquette for Writers. This post shares the simple basics of social media etiquette, including things like not being a pest and following the golden rule.
Revision Tips for Writers. It's one thing to write good, but to write truly great, writers need to be able to revise good as well.
Speaking Tips for Writers. Over the years as an editor and poet, I've been blessed with quite a few opportunities to speak and listen to others speak. This post collects some of what I've learned.
Negotiating Tips for Writers. I wrote this post from the unusual perspective of an editor--and no, I didn't advise writers to always take what an editor offers without question.
Are You a Specialist or Generalist? This is one of my question posts for writers, but it digs at an important question that will help writers figure out for what type of writing they're best suited.
Build a List for Success. From making lists of goals to submissions, lists are often an important tool in the successful writer's toolbox.
Don't Wait for X to Do Y: Platform-Building Traps for Writers to Avoid. This post has, perhaps, the longest title of any post on this top 20 list, but it's only because it has a subtitle.
How to Deal With Problem Editors. I'm sure there are times when even I fall under the problem editor category. After all, we're still human--well, most of us anyway.
Quick Tips on Submitting to Literary Magazines. I cover the what, when, where, why, who, and how in this post.
Top 5 Pitch Tips for Writers. These are five areas that I've found as an editor could use some attention from many writers.
How to Protect Your Writing From Natural Disasters. It doesn't happen often, but losing all your data is devastating. Don't let yourself become a statistic in this area of the writing life.
Top 5 Creative Writing Tips. This was my first real post for writers of 2011, so I'm glad to see that it just snuck onto this list.
Two Rules for Successful Writers. They are simple, but they're also effective.
Why Writers Should Care About SEO. For those who don't know, SEO is short for search engine optimization. This post tackles why it's important for writers to understand.
Just Write Something! What a perfect post to round out this Top 20 list. After you're done reading about the writing life, be a writer and just write something.

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Check out the Top 3 Not Bob posts unrelated to writing:

Remembering 9/11 From the Midwest. I'm not sure why, but this post gets double digit traffic every single day.
My Movember 2011. Watch the post that chronicles my moustache growth through the month of November.
The Golden Rule to Everything. This is the rule that helps guide me, and I think the world would be a much better place if everyone tried their best to live by it too.

The Meaning of Baptism for Our Family

2011-12-11T16:56:00.001-05:00

(Note: This post is a little different for me. While I do get personal on here, I don't normally talk much about my religion or faith--and I don't anticipate that changing anytime soon. My philosophy is that everyone has their own path to follow, and this is mine. So please read this post with an open mind and heart, or don't read it at all.)

Yesterday, I mentioned that 2011 brought a few firsts in my life. I also mentioned that another first would happen today, and here's what happened: Tammy, Reese, Will, Hannah, and I were all baptised together as a family and individually as Christians.

After being members of the Duluth First United Methodist Church for around a year now, Tammy and I decided the time was right to express our faith through baptism. As one of the sacraments given to the church by Jesus Christ, baptism is an essential to salvation for Methodists, though people are not saved by baptism alone.

Growing Up Outside the Church
I grew up outside the church with a few connections on the inside. My grandparents would take us from time to time. A couple friends across the street would bring us along a couple times while we were in elementary school. I remember going to Sunday school and then sneaking off to get candy at a nearby gas station.

As I grew older, I only seemed to move even further from God. I remember having conversations in which I argued against the possibility of God in high school. In college, I seemed to only find more ammunition in my campaign against God and Christianity in particular. I remember even thinking that organized religions were the same as faceless corporations that are riddled with greed and corruption.

Then Something Changed
My first wife has grandparents who are members of the Methodist church in Southwest Ohio. I can say with certainty that Ann and Freeman James of Lindenwald United Methodist Church played an important role in my faith journey. In fact, they still do.

They encouraged me to get out to church and invited me to attend an Alpha Course program with them that lasted 3 months. I took this course in early 2003, so it took these early seeds--when my mind and heart was open--to make me question my worldviews over the next eight years.

Or maybe I should say that even with these early seeds, it took me more than eight years to get where I am today.

So What Happened After That Course?
Within two years of taking the course, my first wife and I separated (with the intention of getting divorced), I found myself in significant debt, and I had to move into my father's house. Plus, I felt like a horrible father (because of the impending divorce) and a failure in many ways.

It's times like these that you really have to dig deep into yourself, and I found myself starting to write poetry with abandon--in a way I had not since my college days. I started running and filling my spare time with work. There were days that I felt like the world was going to end, and there were days that felt like they had unlimited potential. I was all over the place.

Around three years after the separation, Tammy and I started getting involved. Much like myself, she'd grown up around but not exactly in the Baptist church. Neither of us had been baptised or attended with any regularity.

Then Things Got Serious
Actually, that's an inside joke between Tammy and I, but we did get serious enough to meet each other in Ohio (where I lived) and Georgia (where she lived)--and Tennessee (where my grandma lives). When we met in Tennessee, we went to my grandma's little Baptist church next to the lake, and we've been there a few times since.

When we decided to get married on 8/8/08, we asked my grandma's boyfriend to marry us (and last year, he married my brother David and my sister-in-law) in Tennessee. He had a talk with us before and after the ceremony about the faith element involved in marriage, and I think that meant a lot to both of us.

Will dressed for his baptism.

So over the next couple years, Tammy and I talked about checking out a church, but it's scary. Especially for me, I almost felt like it was too late for me to join a church, because I wasn't baptised. Though part of my brain knew this was wrong, another part just felt like I had to be raised in the church to be a part of the church.

Duluth First United Methodist Church
I first started going to DFUMC on Monday nights--not for church, but for Cub Scouts. Last year, Reese started Cub Scouts, and I volunteered to be the den leader for Den 2 of Pack 420. I'm on my second year now, and it's been a fun experience. But it was this initial involvement with the church building that eventually prompted Tammy and I to try attending a few services.

It didn't take long for Tammy and I to decide that we liked the atmosphere, the people, and the leaders of DFUMC. One thing I appreciate about the Methodist church in general is that it's very open and inclusive. This church in particular seemed (and still seems) even more so. So we joined the church last December.

Hannah excited for her baptism too!

Since we've been members, we've continued with Cub Scouts; we took a United Methodism 101 course that helped us learn more about the history, beliefs, and structure of the Methodist church; we enrolled Will in a Christian Beginnings preschool class (which he loves!); and this morning, we were baptised!

We've had a great year of growth as a family and as Christians, and we intend to continue our development together as a family. Baptism is only one rung in the ladder, but it's an important enough one that I felt it was worth sharing.

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What I Got Out of Self-Publishing

2011-12-10T08:35:00.001-05:00

I pulled off a few firsts in 2011. Last month, I grew my first moustache. In June, I had my first daughter. And in April, I self-published my first chapbook of poetry. Then, I did it again in September. (Tomorrow, I'll have a new first, but I'll leave that for tomorrow.)

My first chapbook--fresh out of the box.

The process of self-publishing my first poetry collection was scary. Since I limited my print run to 101 copies, I wasn't worried about the financial part, but I was very afraid my announcement of a self-published poetry chapbook would be met with the sound of crickets.

The Announcement
Without a title or an official line up of poems, I made the announcement a year ago. As you can see in the link, I did have a publication date, price, and a way for folks to pre-order a copy. And then, crazy enough, people did start pre-ordering copies. I could breathe a sigh of relief.

A week after the initial announcement, I sent along some updates (the line up of poems). A couple weeks after that, the collection had a title: ENTER. Each new announcement brought in more pre-orders, which is so much cooler than crickets.

The Release
I'd been considering self-publishing a collection for a few years, but the time just never felt right. Then, a perfect storm of events conspired to make April 1, 2011, the perfect time to release a collection. First, April is when I run the April PAD Challenge on Poetic Asides (my poetry blog on WritersDigest.com), which is when I prompt hundreds of poets to write a poem a day through National Poetry Month.

At AIPF, I read poems and made great connections.

Second, I had two events scheduled for the beginning of April. On April 1-2, I spoke at the Blue Ridge Writers Conference in Northern Georgia. On April 7-10, I was a National Feature Poet at the Austin International Poetry Festival in Texas. For both events, I led workshops and read poetry.

So like I said, it was a perfect storm of events to promote the collection right from the release date.

The Results
The collection officially released on April 1, 2011. Before May 1, 2011, all 101 copies had been claimed. Two were lost in the mail, but the rest found their intended targets. I earned a little money, but more important were the connections I'd made with readers--one connection even led to me reading for the Houston Poetry Fest's "Out of Bounds" event in October.

I loved hearing from readers who received their copies. Some sent simple notes that said they loved reading the collection--and that meant a lot. But then, some sent detailed comments about specific poems they liked best and why. At the end of the day, it all added up to a huge helping of validation--and that's the number one thing I got out of the self-publishing process.

In September, I followed up ENTER with ESCAPE.

Lessons Learned
After publishing my second collection in September, I think I have learned a few lessons about self-publishing, though I'll add that every self-publisher has a unique situation. For instance, not everyone is publishing a limited edition poetry collection.

Develop an audience first. I've always felt the urge to share my work. In high school, I would fill up composition notebooks with poems and pass them around for fellow students to read (and let me know which they liked best). But I had to exercise extreme patience--almost 20 years worth of it--before the time felt right for selling out a limited edition poetry chapbook. If you don't have some sort of audience, you may be facing crickets.
Get the word out before publication. For both collections, I started getting the word out as soon as I knew I was going to move forward on them and hit a specific publication date. This helped motivate me as I went through the process of formatting the manuscript, finding a printer, and other activities. Plus, I could use pre-orders to motivate others to pre-order and/or purchase copies.
Keep excellent records. Since I had a limited edition collection of 101 copies, I simply made a list with 101 entries. Each entry received a name, an e-mail address, payment received, method of payment, and mailing address. This came in extra handy with the second collection, because I could give return readers the same number for ESCAPE they received the first time around for ENTER.

I plan to have at least one more limited edition chapbook self-published in 2012, though I don't have a publication date set for that yet. Then, I may try experimenting with self-published e-books--and, of course, sharing the results here.

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Good News for People Who Love Good (and Cheap) Music

2011-12-09T07:46:00.001-05:00

My wife Tammy found that Iron & Wine's album The Shepherd's Dog is available for just five dollars on Amazon. We already own it--in fact, we watched a private show recently--but that got me searching for other discounted albums on Amazon.

Album that got this list started.

Believe it or not, you could get all 10 of these albums for less than $50 (as of the writing of this post anyway):

In the Aeroplane Over the Sea, by Neutral Milk Hotel. This is one of my all-time favorite albums, and it's inspired more than its fair share of poems over the years.
To the Sea, by Jack Johnson. I guess we'll keep things close to the sea, but Jack Johnson is one of those guys who I can listen to at any time during the year and long to be on a beach--just hanging out.
I Told You I Was Freaky, by Flight of the Conchords. Speaking of New Zealand--we were, right?--these two guys always crack me up. They're funny and, apparently, freaky.
Loud, by Rihanna. And speaking of freaky--which I think was actually mentioned just a moment ago--Rihanna is about as freaky as it gets. But beyond all the freaky, there's an amazing voice with some incredible beats.
Of the Blue Colour of the Sky, by OK Go. This OK Go album includes some of my favorite songs by the band, including "End Love" and "This Too Shall Pass."
Till the Sun Turns Black, by Ray LaMontagne. Notice how I did that? Got you looking at the blue sky until the sun turns black? Okay, silly, but still, Ray's follow-up to Trouble is great.
Good News for People Who Love Bad News, by Modest Mouse. Another one of my all-time favorite albums--and "Black Cadillacs" is one of my all-time favorite songs--which I guess dooms music to be discounted. This one has also inspired its fair share of poems.
Kid A, by Radiohead. And as long as I'm talking about albums that are great for writing, this one is one of my favorite writing soundtracks. Just throw it on and let the words flow.
Lungs, by Florence + The Machine. "Kiss With a Fist" and "Dogs Days Are Over" highlight this album, which is kind of like an anthem--a loud anthem.
X & Y, by Coldplay. I've heard all the Coldplay albums, and this is my favorite. Plus, it has one of my favorite love songs ever, "Swallowed by the Sea."

This isn't my all-time top 10 list, but these are all great albums that can be had for $5 or less right now. So get over and grab 'em before the prices shift back up.

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Top 10 Christmas Movies List.
2010 Christmas Wish List! (Need to make one for 2011.)
My Top 10 Christmas Albums.

The 8 Jobs of Modern Writers

2011-12-07T08:48:00.001-05:00

Writing is a funny business. You get into writing because you love it. Then, you love it so much that you want to make a career out of the writing. It's possible, but as you pursue your dream of becoming a full-time writer it becomes apparent that there's more to being a writer than just writing.

In fact, I think I have narrowed down the scope of being a writer to eight jobs. Plus, I've included two extra jobs for those writers who are always in pursuit of extra credit. These jobs are the hats a writer must wear to find success as a freelancer in today's publishing/media environment. Not every hat will fit perfect at first, but writers should play off their strengths and work to improve their weaknesses.

Here are the 8 jobs of modern writers:

Writer. Believe it or not, the writing should always come first. If the other seven jobs ever start to overwhelm you, remember to fall back on the writing. That's your bread and butter as a writer.
Editor. Don't fall into the trap of thinking that someone else can correct all your mistakes. Sure, an editor will help improve (or at least alter) your writing, but that's only after your work has been accepted. Your job as a writer is not just to string words and sentences together; it's to string the best words and sentences together--with a minimum of grammar and spelling mistakes.
Copywriter. Jane Friedman wrote a great post about why this is important over at Writer Unboxed. Copywriting skills are needed for everything from writing query letters to bio notes.
File clerk. Once your writing is great and your query skills pay the bills, you need the ability to keep accurate records. The WritersMarket.com site I edit offers a submission tracker tool, but writers need to also keep track of bills, payments, and expenses--for tax purposes. It's not fun for most people (raising my hand), but it's essential to freelance success.
Negotiator. Here are my negotiation tips for writers--from the perspective of an editor. Put them to good use. For tips from the writer's perspective, check out this post by Carol Tice. You don't have to be super pushy to be a good negotiator--sometimes all you need to do is ask.
Accountant. This is sort of related to number four, but money complicates everything and needs an extra level of care. If you're trying to make a business out of your writing, you'll need to keep receipts and accurate records of payments, expenses, bills, etc., that are related to your writing. If you go to a conference, that's a business expense, including the hotel, mileage, etc. Learn more in the 2012 Writer's Market, which has a great piece on this subject by full-time freelancer Sage Cohen.
Marketer. Most writers don't want to think about this job. After all, many are introverts. Then, there are the extroverted writers who actually want to move this ahead of the writing on the list of jobs. However, I think the writing always comes first, but writers have to build a platform. It's essential to building your brand as a freelance writer and making you visible to potential opportunities.
Speaker. Speaking of introverted writers, I'm sure most are spitting their coffee all over the computer screens in disbelief that I would include number eight as an essential job of modern writers. However, it's true. Many of the best opportunities (both for platform building and making money) for writers moving forward will involve speaking. You don't have to be the best speaker ever, but speaking is a skill that you work on and can improve over time. Trust me, I used to think it was impossible, and I still get nervous, but I am much better now than I used to be. Click here for a few of my tips on speaking.

These are the jobs that make my essential list from what I know of the publishing landscape and how many writers have found success in the past decade. However, I do have a few other "extra credit" jobs as well.

Advocate. Writers should be advocates for their own work but also for the work, rights, payment, treatment, etc., of other writers. If you see a writer banging his or her head against a wall looking for a door that only you can see, please direct them to the door. Educate them on negotiating rights, keeping accurate records, and building a platform. What benefits one writer benefits all of us.

Connector. Connected to being advocate, writers can help others and themselves by acting as connectors. That is, connect people who can benefit from each other. If you're offered a job you can't take, don't just say, "No thanks." Try to recommend someone who's more qualified or available. This helps the two parties who were connected and helps you, because they'll suddenly be advocates for you and your goals. Remember the golden rule.

So what do you think? Did I miss anything? It wouldn't be the first time. Share your thoughts below.

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Are You Open to Failure?

2011-12-06T08:12:00.001-05:00

Many writers (and people in general really) spend a good deal of time trying to find success. Everyone has a different idea of what success means--in fact, some aren't even sure what success means. And many writers have varying views on how to achieve success. The most successful writers seem to have one trait in common--a willingness to fail.

Are you open to failure?

Every writer finds rejection; not all find success.

Prevent Defense
In football, there's a type of defense that many teams employ near the end of the game if they're winning. It's called prevent defense, and the joke about prevent defense is that it prevents the team with the lead from winning.

How the defense works is that it sends a lot of defensive players downfield to prevent the big play. The problem that usually occurs is that an offense will then just throw shorter passes to get downfield in smaller plays. By trying to "play it safe," a defense actually puts itself in a dangerous position.

Are you open to failure? Or are you working so hard to PREVENT mistakes that you're also preventing success?

Poker
Finding success in writing can be a bit like playing poker. There is a certain level of luck that factors into finding success, but the most seasoned poker players seem to win more than they lose despite the fact that everyone gets the same 52 cards to play.

Then one day I heard one of those all-star poker players--I wish I could remember which one--say something profound. I'm paraphrasing, but it was something along the lines of, "You can't win if you're afraid to lose." His point was that you have to be willing to take risks to find success in poker. The same can be said of the writing life.

Are you open to failure? Or are you waiting for the perfect hand before you lay down your cards?

Pays to Play
While I don't often have a lot of time to follow specific updates from people on Facebook and Twitter, I do jump in and out of the stream daily. My favorite status updates are the ones in which people share their successes. It's easy to "like" someone else's success.

Recently, the poet/editor/teacher Jessie Carty shared this status update on Facebook: Sent all my pending poems out and one was accepted for publication! Pays to play ;)

Emoticons and exclammation points aside, this was a super status update. Not only did Jessie share her success, but she gave a little inspiration for other writers by reminding them an important lesson: It pays to play.

Are you open to failure? Are you willing to play?

Two Writers
Finally, I just want to tell the story of two writers. Both writers loved writing and were the same age, been writing the same amount of time and with the same dedication. One submitted her work everywhere and found a lot of rejection over the years but a few successes. The other spent his time perfecting his craft over the years and never submitted his work. He wanted it to be just perfect before it went out the door.

Eventually, the two writers meet at a grocery store or laundromat or something. Definitely not the post office, because the other writer never submits his work. Anyway, they get to talking and realize they're both writers.

The other writer asks the one writer what she's accomplished, and she says, "Well, I was published in X journal and Y magazine, and I have a book coming out next fall. How about you?"

The other writer looks down at his feet and answers, "Nothing."

It's impossible to find success if you aren't open to failure. Are you open to failure?

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Advice for Writers: 012

2011-12-05T07:47:00.001-05:00

If I seemed a little scarce last week, it's because I spent an average of 12+ hours a day working on e-books for Writer's Digest. Hopefully, I'll be able to share some information about those soon. In the meantime, here's the latest (greatest) advice for writers from across the Internet:

Turn Your WordPress Blog Into a Book, by Jane Friedman. To tell you the truth, I've been pretty happy with Blogger, but when I read posts like this, I wonder if I should be on WordPress instead. It's all about the plug-ins.

3 Simple Ways to Beat Writer's Block, by Mark McGuinness. Nice little post on writer's block. To add my own advice, I think writer's block is typically caused by trying too hard; just relax and write without worrying about meaning. Then, the meaning will come.

8 Ways Freelancers are Losing Out by Failing to Make Use of Google Plus, by Alex Mathers. For the early adopters, it's easy to feel a little burnt out on Google+ and a little impatient with its development, but it is steadily growing and will continue to play a larger role in the social media landscape.

Four Ways to Engage Fiction Readers, by Dianne Christner. I had a college professor who once overused the word "engaging" to a fault to describe whether our short stories were working or not. However, the most important thing writers can do--in any discipline--is engage their readers.

The No. 1 Overlooked Skill for Every Author, by Jane Friedman. I usually try to avoid using the same blogger twice in one of these posts, but the first post was on Friedman's personal blog, and this one originally appeared on Writer Unboxed--so I'm using a technicality to include two of her posts. Besides, I totally agree with her on this post.

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Choosing Where to Get Published

2011-12-02T06:54:00.001-05:00

Recently, I was a guest for an extension course on personal essay at UCLA. I love opportunities to answer questions, and this class had some interesting ones about getting published, especially about figuring out where to submit.

Where to submit my writing? Hmm...

Is it better to try getting published in print or online?
This is a popular question, and I understand why, but I think it's dangerous to focus too much on the format. Especially when you're getting started, I believe it's essential to diversify. Submit to print publications, online publications, cell phone publications, or whatever else gets a foot in the door. Early on, it's important just to get experience submitting, dealing with editors, and hitting deadlines.

How much do editors edit? Do they give back edited pieces?
Editors are used to making at least some changes in nearly every piece they receive. However, they've all got different rules on when to give back pieces to writers. Some have writers double-check proofs regardless of any changes. Others send material back to writers only if they've made significant changes. Still others avoid back and forth with writers at all.

AFTER your work has been accepted or you've received an assignment, it would be completely appropriate to ask an editor what to expect as far as the review/rewrites process.

What if I want to write for mainstream publications? Should I avoid sending work to niche publications?
In the beginning, writers should just work on their writing and try to get published wherever they can. Traditionally, some venues are going to be easier to break into than others, though very few are easy. Some online publications are more open to new writers. Regional magazines and publications are good for many writers too.

Shooting for mainstream national magazines is a good goal. I believe in the diversified portfolio approach in which writers query beginner-friendly publications, middle tier publications, and the highest paying markets. As a writer finds more success with the better paying markets, they can cut out the beginner-friendly publications and be more selective in where they write.

Should cover and query letters be short and to the point? Or should they drip with personality?
Every editor is different. For me, I prefer queries that are short and to the point. Also, I like a little personality. Writers who can send me a concise query that's also interesting have the greatest chance of getting accepted for publication, because those writers demonstrate they know that writing with concision doesn't mean writing without a personality. They also demonstrate that writing with personality isn't an excuse to ramble.

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My 2011 Decembeard

2011-12-01T23:07:00.001-05:00

After the success of the Movember post from last month, which captured my moustache through the month, I thought it might be fun to keep that up throughout the next year. As many people who see me in person can attest, my appearance often changes. One month, I might be wearing contacts with a fully shaved head. Another month, I may have a beard and hair over my eyes, which are hidden behind glasses.

So, let the spectacle begin.

Day 31. No Movember, no moustache. Or hair apparently.

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Do You Write Different on Paper Than on Screen?

2011-11-29T08:11:00.001-05:00

In just a little more than a decade, digital has invaded nearly every aspect of our lives, including writing. This blog is, of course, proof of that, though there are also online publications, social media sites, and more. In fact, many writers now don't even write on paper; they type on a screen. Personally, I do both.

For my fiction and poetry, I tend to write almost exclusively on paper. I don't know if it's just out of habit or if I actually feel more focused (or liberated) that way. However, pen to paper is how I roll when I'm stumbling through a sestina or short story.

My nonfiction is totally opposite. From blogging to crafting newsletters and articles, I tend to write and edit my nonfiction completely on the screen. I might jot an idea or two down on paper--or make an outline for longer works--but most of it is done without ever picking up a pen.

I don't know if this can be explained as a left brain/right brain activity. I have to use the same creative thought process for nonfiction, fiction, and poetry. Of course, there's a difference between making line breaks and sharing 11 Tips for Writers to Find Success. So maybe there's something about the brain function. Or maybe it's just some kind of psychological kink I have. What do you think?

Do you write different on paper than on screen?

If you do (or even if you don't), share your thoughts below in the comments. Who knows? Maybe I'm the only one who thinks this way.

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