Just For Fun: Write a Mad Libs Poem!

I'm always writing down bits and pieces of lines--sometimes not even finishing lines. Such was the case yesterday, and I got the crazy idea to throw together quite a few fragments with blanks that I would come back to later (without seeing the fragments). Basically, I was going back to my elementary school Mad Libs days.

If you want to play, don't scroll to the bottom of the post yet.

Instead, make a list with the following:

• Plural Noun
• Singular Noun
• Present Tense Verb
• Singular Noun
• Singular Noun
• Present Tense Verb
• Present Tense Verb
• Plural Noun
• Plural Noun
• Present Tense Verb
• Singular Noun
• Complete this statement: "I hope ________________________."

That's it.

Go on, make a list without peeking.

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Girls Just Wanna Have Mad Libs: Ultimate Box Set

I know, I know. The greatest Mad Libs box set ever! But this is only the tip of the iceberg, because there are Mad Libs books for Star Wars, zombies, Christmas, and more!

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Here's the template I created yesterday. Insert your words in the order above. Feel free to title your piece whatever you wish and share in the comments below.

"Poem Title"

I've saturated the ______________
with tales of my _____________.
There's nothing left for me to ______________.
Every __________, every ____________--
they all ____________ to me!

______________ their inner ___________, their
naked ____________. When you __________
your ____________, I hope
__________________________________.

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This is how my poem came out:

MADMAN, by Robert Lee Brewer

I've saturated the hooligans
with tales of my television.
There's nothing left for me to swaddle.
Every cape, every pinball machine--
they all flock to me!

Balance their inner treasures, their
naked spectacles. When you fumigate
your elephant, I hope
the accountants kept excellent records.

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But wait! Here's how my 9-year-old stepson did:

Madman Jr., by Reese Trendle

I've saturated the zebu
with tales of my kidney.
There's nothing left for me to stab.
Every abolitionist, every light bulb--
they all eat to me!

Jump their inner rats, their
naked knives. When you hit
your gum, I hope
their heads are falling off.

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Fun stuff!

Anyway, it's not bad for the middle of the week. If you get stuck with your own poetry, maybe try cutting out words in an already written piece and inserting new nouns, verbs, adjectives, etc.

If nothing else, it provides a new way to look at the same poem.

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Connect with me on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn. Plus, sign up for free e-mail updates from this blog in the top right-hand corner of the page.

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Check out these other inspiring Not Bob posts:

• The Importance of Word Play.
• Why I Give Back to Writers.
• Poetic Saturdays: Now This Is How We Roll.

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Create Your Writer Platform: The Key to Building an Audience, Selling More Books, and Finding Success as an Author
by Chuck Sambuchino

If you want a book that covers platform in all its variations, this is the title for you. Chuck Sambuchino is the author of humor titles such as How to Survive a Garden Gnome Attack and Red Dog Blue Dog, but he's also behind Guide to Literary Agents and Formatting & Submitting Your Manuscript. In other words, he's been there, done that, and lived to tell about it. Chuck covers social media, blogs, newsletters, public speaking, and more. Click the link above to check it out today.

Creativity Trumps Following the Rules (Guest Post From Ernie J. Zelinski)

Here's a guest post from Ernie J. Zelinski, which actually originated as a comment to a previous post about the business of publishing. I don't usually re-purpose comments that way, but I wanted to make sure everyone had a chance to read his thoughts.

Ernie Zelinski, author of The Joy of Not Working and other titles

Fact is social media is not even necessary to promote a book, even though so-called social media experts will be in total denial about this.

I am very successful as a self-published author. I have been in this game since 1989 (a true pioneer and not like a lot of the impostors out there) and making decent money at it ever since my first book was self-published.

Print Sales Are Not Dead

My How to Retire Happy, Wild, and Free will sell about 9,000 copies on Amazon in its print edition this year. In fact, this title will likely sell the most copies this year in its print edition since it was first self-published in 2004. It has already sold a total of 15,000 copies and should reach 17,000 copies by the end of the year. (This proves that people who say "print is dead" are either lying of just plain brain dead.)

Yet my three Kindle titles have only sold 12 copies this month. Why does my How to Retire Happy, Wild, and Free sell so well? Because I don't rely on social media. As marketing guru John Reese (who was the first person ever to make $1-million dollars in one day marketing on the Internet) says, Social media is vastly overrated.

Creativity Trumps Platform

I notice that true best-selling authors like Brendon Burchard, whose The Charge has sold 80,000 copies in its print edition in the last 8 months, don't rely on social media. They have much better and more creative ways to sell books. So do I.

I am amazed at the lack of true creativity and ingenuity in this world. People use the word "creativity" because it sounds nice. They have no sense of the meaning of the word, however. They certainly don't show it in their actions.

Years ago I cut copies of one of my books in half and mailed either the top half or the bottom half of them to corporations with a creative letter that said if they wanted to purchase the book, they had to purchase a minimum of 10. This promotion led to revenues of over $15,000.

I can give several more examples of my own "unique" creative book-marketing tactics that I have used to have my books sell over 750,000 copies worldwide but I won't simply because consultants such as Brendon Burchard and Joe Polish charge up to $3,500 an hour for their consulting and coaching.

Here is a quotation about creativity that also applies to creativity in book marketing:

"What Is Your WOW Factor?
This applies to both the service
that you provide to the world
and the way you market it.
Make it edgy, make it snappy,
and make it punchy.
Even make it raunchy — but
make it different!
Real different!"
— from Life's Secret Handbook

Social Media vs. E-mail

In short, a great author platform does not require any social media at all. You don't heve to be on Facebook, Twitter, or LinkedIn to be more successful than 99.9 perent of authors regardless of what social media and book marketing experts tell you.

As John Reese said, "RSS, Twitter, Facebook, YouTube, BLAH BLAH BLAH. Yes, those methods can generate leads. Yes, those methods can generate some sales. But time and time again little old e-mail marketing kicks their butts — by a long shot"

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Ernie J. Zelinski is an international best-selling author, speaker, and prosperity life coach who helps adventurous souls live prosperous and free. Ernie is the author of the international bestsellers The Joy of Not Working (over 250,000 copies sold and published in 17 languages) and How to Retire Happy, Wild, and Free (over 175,000 copies sold and published in 9 languages). Check out Ernie's two quotation websites Sensational Quotes for Smart People and the Retirement Quotes Cafe for more great quotations on a number of topics.

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If you have something important you'd like to share on the Not Bob blog, please don't hesitate to contact me by e-mail at robertleebrewer@gmail.com with the subject line: Not Bob Guest Post. Please include an idea or two you have for a guest post, your credentials, and how you think it fits in with this blog. The more specific you can be the better.

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Connect with me on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn. Plus, sign up for free e-mail updates from this blog in the top right-hand corner of the page.

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Check out these other helpful Not Bob posts:

• Develop a Slogan to Help Your Author Platform.
• How to Build (or Improve) Your Writer Platform in 30 Days.
• Best Blogs for Writers to Read in 2012.

*****

Create Your Writer Platform: The Key to Building an Audience, Selling More Books, and Finding Success as an Author
by Chuck Sambuchino

If you want a book that covers platform in all its variations, this is the title for you. Chuck Sambuchino is the author of humor titles such as How to Survive a Garden Gnome Attack and Red Dog Blue Dog, but he's also behind Guide to Literary Agents and Formatting & Submitting Your Manuscript. In other words, he's been there, done that, and lived to tell about it. Chuck covers social media, blogs, newsletters, public speaking, and more. Click the link above to check it out today.

What Writers, Editors, and Publishers Should Worry About

This recent article on tablet readers got me thinking about the publishing/media industry and writers in general, especially what we should all be worried about when we're writing our manuscripts, making our print and digital products, and then trying to sell them. My first thoughts were kind of wide-ranging and complicated, but then, it occurred to me that this is really simple stuff: Deliver what your audience wants and needs.

A former F&W Publications VP by the name of David Lewis used to be huge into customer surveys and focus groups, and here's why: He was always wary of us trying to tell customers what they want, instead of the other way around. Even though, many of us were the target audience, he wanted to avoid having two or three decision makers speak for the entire group.

Of course, I know there are times when customers don't know they want something, or they can't imagine something ever existing. For instance, it wasn't long ago that I'd have scoffed at the idea of owning a phone that allowed me to take (and store) images and video while checking e-mail, surfing the Internet, playing video games, and whatever else my phone can do. That said, all content doesn't have to be a smartphone.

Audience Needs
Just because readers prefer to consume their novels, magazines, and how-to books on Kindles, Nooks, etc., it doesn't mean they want every other word to link to some subplot, back story, or e-commerce page.  Often times, readers just want to read.

This doesn't mean the bells and whistles are meaningless, but most people would rather own an ugly car that works over a beautiful car that doesn't start. If you can make something beautiful and interactive, that's great. Just don't compromise the functionality of what your audience really wants: in this case, excellent content.

Discoverability
Another issue brought up in this article was how products are discovered in the storefronts. Hearst President David Carey basically says that products have to land in the upper carousel of the storefront to sell well. I'm sure most sales on Amazon have to rank well too. So, does that mean all publishers and writers are held at the mercy of Apple, Amazon, and other booksellers?

Umm, it shouldn't. This merely underscores how important it is for publishers and writers to have a direct line to their audience. It underscores the importance of an author platform. Publishers and writers can't just call it a day after a book gets in the bookstores; they have to shine a spotlight on their creations.

While fulfilling an audience's needs should always be priority one, working on discoverability (and yes, I know it's not a real word) is priority one-A.

Connection
As I mentioned above, discoverability should be a close second priority for writers, editors, and publishers--if they want to sell books. But it's one thing to talk about promotion, and anyone can just start throwing up links like crazy after a book is published. That doesn't mean anyone is going to pay attention. No, what writers, editors, and publishers need is to create platforms and make meaningful connections with their target audience and the influencers of their target audience.

This means you connect with bloggers, program directors, and editors of magazines and websites related to your writing and that in turn connect with your target audience. These are the gatekeepers to your target audience (your potential readers and book buyers).

Combine
For writers, editors, and publishers to find the most success in the future, it is imperative that they work to combine these three elements. They need to figure out what their audience needs and then deliver it in a way that their target audience knows that it exists and that it is exactly what they want. If the content really is great, this is the recipe that creates bestselling products and earns writers, editors, and publishers adoring fans, which ultimately leads to more fun projects in the future.

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Connect with me on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn. Plus, sign up for free e-mail updates from this blog in the top right-hand corner of the page.

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Check out these other helpful Not Bob posts:

• How to Blog and Make Money Blogging.
• How to Build (or Improve) Your Writer Platform in 30 Days.
• Best Blogs for Writers to Read in 2012.

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And if you want a way to make a super investment in your author platform, check out the latest offering from Writer's Digest: Author Platform Consultations. There are three different levels--from a basic package (that is anything but basic) to an 8-week program that involves 30-minute consultations each week. Click here to learn more.