Raise Your Hand: Overcoming the Fear of Failure

Yesterday, I made a big mistake on MNINB. I had a typo, spelling "loose" as "lose" for the title of the post. In fact, you'll notice the URL for that post is now permanently "lose." I totally dropped the ball, and my day job title is Senior Content Editor. Ugh!

Lose or loose? I can learn (and sometimes) fix my failures online.

Around the same time the mistake was brought to my attention yesterday, I was also suffering through a stomach bug that gave me a fever and knocked me out last night. But one of the last things I did before throwing in the towel last night was to fix that typo. I just had to.

Raise Your Hand If You Know the Answer
Back in my school days, I was pretty smart, but I had a confidence problem. My tests almost always came back with perfect grades. On standardized tests, my scores were always high. The only knock on my grades was usually due to my slacker attitude when it came to homework.

That said, I usually knew the answer whenever teachers would inevitably prompt, "Raise your hand if you know the answer." But I wouldn't raise my hand.

My reason was simple: I thought I knew the answer, but what if I was actually wrong. What if everyone laughed at me?

Overcoming the Fear of Failure
Sometimes, my fear of failure keeps me from finding success. The teacher asks who knows the answer and someone else raises their hand moments after I could've--if I'd been brave. Or I don't make a blog post, because I'm afraid the topic might not be received well. Or I don't suggest an idea at work, because people might think it's crazy.

Many people deal with these fears. Maybe it's because we're all trying to be exceptional while still fitting in with everyone else. We might not find success at what we love, but at least, we don't have to go through the process of facing failure or rejection.

Over the years--and it's been tough (with much backsliding)--I've found the courage to go for it, despite the possibility of failure. Just over the past five years, I can see there have been a number of failures. But I've found far more successes than I would've ever dreamed when I was that young boy thinking of raising his hand, but ultimately not doing so.

If you're struggling to find the courage to try something new or amazing, what's holding you back? Don't be afraid to raise your hand.

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Check out these other Not Bob posts:

• Don't Censor Your Happiness: Ignore the Naysayers!
• Flying Solo: Traveling to London Alone.
• 11 Tips for Writers to Find Success.

Things That Scare Children (Blissfully Series)

Throughout 2012, I'll be sharing stories about myself on Sundays as part of this Blissfully series. My life has already had its share of good and bad moments, but these are the ones I consider the most important.

The Vacuum Cleaner of Doom

Today, I've been cleaning and organizing a bit. My mind often seems to mirror my surroundings. If they're cluttered, so is my brain. When I got out the vacuum cleaner, Will started telling me not to run it. I told him I had to run the vacuum. So he went to his room and closed the door until I finished.

You see, Will is afraid of the vacuum cleaner. Since we live in an apartment building, he's also afraid of the noises upstairs (especially heavy walkers), leaf blowers, and lawn mowers. Reese is also spooked by normal noises. It can get difficult as a parent to explain that there's nothing to be afraid of, while trying to help them overcome their fears.

But then again, I think such fears are part of living. After all, I had (still have from time to time) my own set of fears. I remember my brothers and I would run for cover whenever the dump truck came by for its weekly collection--and we did the same when the street cleaner came 'round.

I can't remember if I was ever afraid of the vacuum cleaner, but the sounds caused by flushing a toilet always terrified me. It almost sounded as if a ghost or demon was ready to reach up and snatch me. The sound was not just unpleasant, it made me fear for my life.

Of course, these things are foolish fears, though I'd be lying if I said I haven't created new things to fear as I've grown older. And some of these new fears are foolish. I know it. Silences when I'm alone. Talking to strangers. Imagining people hiding behind corners and bushes in the evening. Expecting to see ghosts (or burglars) appear behind me when I look in mirrors.

After all these years, I realize I can't just dismiss the fears of another person, because the things that scare children are the things that scare me as well. Foolish as they may seem to others, fear is very real for those who suffer it.

*****

Connect with me on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn. Plus, sign up for free e-mail updates from this blog in the top right-hand corner of the page.

*****

Check out these other posts from the Blissfully series:

• The Good Side of My Father.
• I Began as Eyelashes Blocking the Sun.
• When Everything Changed.