Don't Worry About What You Don't Know: Some Words of Advice

As many of my regular MNINB readers know, we're in the midst of a month-long platform challenge right now. It's been a pretty incredible experience for me to throw out a task each morning and see how everyone responds. Plus, I love it when my ideas are challenged or improved upon, as well as seeing people offer completely new advice. It's great.

Are you focusing on what you don't know?

Notice that I am not upset when I don't know everything. Also, notice that I consider myself in a perpetual state of learning from others. And after you notice these things, I encourage you to apply the same thought process to your writing, your writing career, and well, your life.

In the comments on this blog, on social networks, in our recent Twitter chat, I've seen writers comment upon how they don't know X, Y, Z, etc., and say how hopeless they feel that they don't know certain things. I understand wanting to learn more, but please realize you will never know everything.

That's not a threat or a put down. It's just completely impossible to know everything (unless you're this guy).

So what can I do?
Here's my best advice: Treat the process of improving your writing skills and building your career as if it is a process. There's no finish line. There's no set in stone checklist of things to complete. It would be nice if such things existed for writers, but the playing field is always changing.

If you treat your career as a process, you'll constantly spend some time learning new skills and applying those skills toward advancing your writing career, while spending a huge chunk of your time writing and producing great content. This is true whether you write fiction, nonfiction, copywriting, poetry, or greeting cards.

The trick is to change your focus from what you don't know and what you haven't done to building upon what you do know and what you have done. It's a small change in wording, but it's a huge difference in mindset and worldview. If you're currently doing the former, try out the latter. I think you'll like the change in scenery.

*****

Connect with me on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn. Plus, sign up for free e-mail updates from this blog in the top right-hand corner of the page.

*****

Use social networking tools to succeed in publishing!

Jane Friedman and Alice Pope lead the webinar Using Social Networking Tools to Succeed in Publishing. This webinar covers how to test ideas using social media, learn preferences of editors and agents, stay up to date on trends, build your personal brand, and more.

Click to continue.

*****

Check out these other Not Bob posts for writers:

• 25 Ways to Increase Blog Traffic.
• Best Blogs for Writers to Read in 2012.
• The Ultimate Guide to Social Media for Writers.

10 Life-Changing Moments

One of my goals for 2012 on My Name Is Not Bob is to offer more posts that attempt to make a difference--not just for writers but for everybody. Part of that is through my inconsistent Blissfully posts and part of that is through what's been a very consistent Life Changing Moments series of guest posts. Since the stories have all been so good, I wanted to collect the first 10 in this post to make them easy to find and re-visit.

Jane Friedman.

Finding and Longing for Community, by Jane Friedman.
In this post, Jane shares how leaving the familiarity of home led her to a real community of friends--a community to which she's often wished she could return. I'm sure many of us have experienced such a community, time, or place.

Flying Solo: Traveling to London Alone, by Collin Kelley.
Interestingly enough, Collin followed up Jane's post about finding and longing for community with his first solo adventure across the sea (in London). As part of the trip, Collin needed to get away from something, but the city surprised him in the end.

You Look Like Your Mama Mated With a Rhino, by Nin Andrews.
Nin reveals her unique eye disorder, strabismus. As a child, she was told to look away from the camera (instead of directly at it) by her own father, and other children (and yes, adults) were cruel to her about it. However, Nin discusses a moment that helped her move past hiding her eyes.

Bending the Rules: Or a Poet Has to Be a Poet, by Scott Owens.
Scott was asked to write a story--like everyone else--and he did...kinda. He explains that a poet has to be a poet, and so he shared several poems after a brief introduction. Once you read the poems, it's hard to imagine him tackling the task any other way.

Debbie Ridpath Ohi. Photo credit: Beckett Gladney.

When I Learned to Actively Pursue Happiness, by Debbie Ridpath Ohi.
It took tragedy--the unexpected death of her brother and new sister-in-law--to prompt Debbie to start living her life by her own rules, actively pursuing happiness and not letting anything (or anyone) stand between her and that pursuit.

Finding the Courage to "Go for It," by Sage Cohen.
Sage shares her crush on a boy in gym class and talks about the moment she decided to quit riding her bike back and forth in front of his house and do something about it. What happens next is inspiring in that it shows the difference in someone who constantly pines away and a person who takes chances.

When All Hell Broke Loose, and I Got My Life Back, by Christina Katz.
Christina shares a moment in her life when her life could keep going or quit altogether. In a perfect moment, she felt the capacity to end it all or keep going. And that's precisely the moment when many people find out what they're made of.

Jessica Strawser. Photo credit: Lindsay Hiatt.

Surviving Childbirth: Putting Gratitude Beneath Chaos, by Jessica Strawser.
As a father, I've been on the other end of four children being born, so I know a thing or two about what can happen in the process. However, I'm thankful I didn't have to experience what Jessica and her husband went through with her first child. But as you'll see, Jessica is filled with courage and a positive attitude.

The Upside to Getting Fired, by Sharon K. Owen.
I've had a lot of jobs over the years, but I've never had to go through the process of being fired. But I know people who have and know it's not easy (for several reasons). It's refreshing to know someone like Sharon can take such a negative experience and spin it into a whole new lifestyle.

Why I Give Back to Writers, by C. Hope Clark.
Hope is one of those people in the writing community that gives and gives (and gives). This story tells how she got started, who prompted her, and how that relationship made her realize just how much a person can give--even when they can't expect anything in return.

*****

If you think you have a great life changing moment to share (and you probably have several), click here to learn how to get the conversation started. I'm sure if you think it's important, I may too.

*****

Connect with me on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn. Plus, sign up for free e-mail updates from this blog in the top right-hand corner of the page.

*****

Check out previous Not Bob posts:

• When Everything Changed.
• Overcoming Depression to Publish a Novel.
• Best Blogs for Writers to Read in 2012.

Write What YOU Want to Write!

Please welcome Marie James to the Not Bob blog! I think her topic today is perfect: write what you want—and for the love of writing. Lately Marie writes mostly about rural life and sustainable living—because she wants to. She shares slices of country life at Rural Living Today, teaches practical skills at The Homesteader School, and reviews kitchen equipment at The Homesteader Kitchen.

Marie James writes what she wants!

How many people have told you what you should write?

For most of us, it started back in elementary school. Did you write weekend stories? They were produced on paper with lines for writing what you did on the weekend and a big blank space for a crayon drawing. I actually liked writing weekend stories, but there was never enough space for everything I wanted to say. I often put more words in the picture space.

In upper grades, writing assignments included research papers, essays, and topical themes. As a member of the high school newspaper staff, I was assigned articles on various subjects. College writing classes included more assignments, often urging me to explore new techniques and genres.

I value the broad spectrum of writing experiences and exposure. But see the pattern? We were often told what to write during all our school years. Some of us also wrote on our own, choosing our methods and topics. As a teenaged girl, I wrote lots of introspective poetry inspired by my churning emotions and questions about life.

Though I loved writing, I pursued a different vocational path and prepared to become a teacher. But I always wanted to write…and I did write—a lot. I journaled for my eyes only. I served as secretary of countless organizations, writing minutes and communications. I wrote newsletter articles for church, school, and community organizations.

Finding a new direction
Some years later, I decided I'd like to have "something" published by a real publisher. I told just a few people—family members and close friends. I was thinking of a nonfiction magazine article.

At that point, I experienced a bit of schooldays déjà vu, because I started getting "assignments" again.

A few longtime friends thought I "should" write a book of poetry. Never mind that I hadn't written poetry since junior high, with the exception of required class assignments.

Someone else said I'd "have to" become comfortable writing foul language and sex scenes because that's the basis of best-selling novels. Never mind that I don't write fiction—and I'd never even thought of attempting a best-seller.

I did reach my goal of having "something" published. No, there's not a book of poetry or best-selling novel bearing my byline. Instead, I've published magazine articles—some on assignment and some submitted after speculative queries. A few anthology stories and a ghost-written book have left my desk and ended up in published form.

But I have also gotten great joy from documenting my parents' and grandparents' life histories just for our family. I really like creating newsletters and other publications for small organizations. Need a press release for a community event? I'm on it. Even technical writing like updating office procedures manuals has been fulfilling.

Following the process
In my home office, both paper files and my computer document files attest to the fact that I often write furiously to some point just short of completion, reach a point of satisfaction, and move on to the next topic on my heart.

Obviously, I don't always write complete manuscripts. Sometimes I write just to clear ideas from my brain and make room for more, and publishing is the farthest thing from my mind.

The bottom line is, I write because I love to write. And for the most part, I write what I want to write.

How about you?

Are you writing what you really want to write? Are you unwrapping whatever thoughts and ideas are bursting from your heart? Are you creating in the genre and style that flow naturally from your fingers?

Are you writing for the reasons you want to write? Are you reaching the readers you hoped to reach? Are you moving toward your goals of first publication or becoming well-known or just getting the message out there?

For me the greatest joy in writing is truly in the journey. And for a writer, that journey begins in the heart.

*****

If you think you have a great blog post idea, click here to learn how to get the conversation started. I'm sure if you think it's important, I may too.

*****

Connect with me on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn. Plus, sign up for free e-mail updates from this blog in the top right-hand corner of the page.

*****

Check out previous Not Bob posts for writers:

• 3 Tips on How to Get Published If You're a Writer.
• 25 Ways to Increase Blog Traffic.
• How to Brand Yourself (and Take Over the World).

Raise Your Hand: Overcoming the Fear of Failure

Yesterday, I made a big mistake on MNINB. I had a typo, spelling "loose" as "lose" for the title of the post. In fact, you'll notice the URL for that post is now permanently "lose." I totally dropped the ball, and my day job title is Senior Content Editor. Ugh!

Lose or loose? I can learn (and sometimes) fix my failures online.

Around the same time the mistake was brought to my attention yesterday, I was also suffering through a stomach bug that gave me a fever and knocked me out last night. But one of the last things I did before throwing in the towel last night was to fix that typo. I just had to.

Raise Your Hand If You Know the Answer
Back in my school days, I was pretty smart, but I had a confidence problem. My tests almost always came back with perfect grades. On standardized tests, my scores were always high. The only knock on my grades was usually due to my slacker attitude when it came to homework.

That said, I usually knew the answer whenever teachers would inevitably prompt, "Raise your hand if you know the answer." But I wouldn't raise my hand.

My reason was simple: I thought I knew the answer, but what if I was actually wrong. What if everyone laughed at me?

Overcoming the Fear of Failure
Sometimes, my fear of failure keeps me from finding success. The teacher asks who knows the answer and someone else raises their hand moments after I could've--if I'd been brave. Or I don't make a blog post, because I'm afraid the topic might not be received well. Or I don't suggest an idea at work, because people might think it's crazy.

Many people deal with these fears. Maybe it's because we're all trying to be exceptional while still fitting in with everyone else. We might not find success at what we love, but at least, we don't have to go through the process of facing failure or rejection.

Over the years--and it's been tough (with much backsliding)--I've found the courage to go for it, despite the possibility of failure. Just over the past five years, I can see there have been a number of failures. But I've found far more successes than I would've ever dreamed when I was that young boy thinking of raising his hand, but ultimately not doing so.

If you're struggling to find the courage to try something new or amazing, what's holding you back? Don't be afraid to raise your hand.

*****

Connect with me on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn. Plus, sign up for free e-mail updates from this blog in the top right-hand corner of the page.

*****

Check out these other Not Bob posts:

• Don't Censor Your Happiness: Ignore the Naysayers!
• Flying Solo: Traveling to London Alone.
• 11 Tips for Writers to Find Success.

Random Uses for Twitter: Unintentional Writing Prompts

Twitter is a good tool for collecting as well as distributing information. (If you're not accustomed to Twitter, click here for my cheat sheet.) Twitter is also great for having chats and reading funny one-liners. However, I've only recently--and I'm probably slow to the game in this respect--started realizing that it's a gold mine of writing prompts.

To prove my point, I'm going to log in to Twitter at this very moment and grab some randome Tweets:

From @thestephmerritt: Oh I hate confrontation. My neighbour has been playing music full volume ALL NIGHT &; it's still going. Just went round. Turns out he's deaf.

This tweet, for instance, could prompt a story (or poem) about someone who is oblivious about everything he or she does. Or it could be about a person who hates confrontation and is always letting things go, but when trying to confront people is either ignored or feels bad afterward.

From @OliviaDresher: Imagining a city of blind people where everyone touches canes instead of shaking hands.

This tweet could produce a Twilight Zone style story. Or it could provoke a surreal poem. Plus, a writer doesn't have to just play off blind people; this tweet makes me consider other handicaps and how it might change the world if everyone had it.

From @meandmybigmouth: Saw an empty Nutella jar on the sideboard and almost lost it. Then saw a full one in the cupboard. Crisis averted.

The story of someone who overreacts to situations. There are two ways to take such a character: either down the path of comedy or the road of drama. Either way, the character would be most compelling if he or she is in a constant state of highs and lows.

Anyway, these tweets were up at like 5 a.m. and are just a random sampling. But it shows that Twitter has at least one more use for writers: unintentional writing prompts!

*****

Connect with me on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn. Plus, sign up for free e-mail updates from this blog in the top right-hand corner of the page.

*****

Check out these other Not Bob posts for writers:

• The 8 Jobs of Modern Writers.
• 11 Tips for Writers to Find Success.
• The Second Most Important Thing a Writer Can Do.

Do You Put Too Much Pressure on the Beginning...From the Beginning?

Writers hear it all the time from agents, editors, readers, other writers, aliens, robots, etc.: Great writing has to hook readers from the beginning to keep them reading to the end.

Don't stress out too much about direction in the first draft.

And yes, this advice is true. Good writing hooks readers from the get-go, and great writing keeps readers hooked all the way to a satisfying conclusion. However, many writers have trouble separating the finished product from the first draft. Many writers have trouble releasing themselves from the pressure of writing an amazing first sentence/page/chapter, so that they can finish the first draft as a result.

Do you put too much pressure on the beginning...from the beginning?

The First Draft
The first draft is called the first draft, because it's assumed there will be more drafts. These other drafts help good writing turn into great writing. In these other drafts, the author will do things like cut the first 50 pages--or flip scenes--to start a novel where it should start.

As such, I want to give all writers who stress out about their beginnings (and middles and ends) during the first draft a piece of advice: Write first, revise later.

Find Your Way
Some of my best poems have evolved from lines that I wrote in other failed poems. Or I've written 30+ lines to cut it down to 10 (and find publication). In college, I wrote short stories and found the same process worked for me.

I'd write 30 pages and find that maybe 5 pages were worth reading. The tricky part of this process is that those 10 lines or 5 pages were rarely in the beginning, they'd be in the middle or near the end--when I was finding my way through my own thoughts.

You see, sometimes we need to write to figure out what we're trying to write (even if we think we know what we're trying to say). So please, don't trip yourself up trying to figure out the best opening sentence ever during your first draft. Just start writing and let the words fall where they may.

*****

Connect with me on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn. Sign up for free e-mail updates from this blog in the top right-hand corner of the page.

Tweet

*****

Check out previous Not Bob advice for writers:

• Blogging Tips for Writers.
• 6 Tips for Writers to Own the New Facebook Timelines.
• Why Writers Should Care About SEO.

Why Do You Write?

There are a million specific reasons why someone might start writing. It could be in response to a natural event or for the fame and glory of being a writer. While I always relate that I started writing poetry in an attempt to woo a girl, even before that I always loved writing, and it didn't matter if I was writing letters or numbers. In fact, I fell for statistics before poetry.

That's how I started, and now I stop every so often and ask myself why do I continue writing (and I encourage you to do the same). What's the point?

Every answer I give is always subject to change (that's just how I roll), but my current reason for writing is simple (and, I admit, not unique): I love to write!

• It's not for money, because I'd still be writing even if I weren't an editor.
• It's not for fame, because I'd be content to write without any readers.
• It's not for posterity, because that's something that's beyond my control.

I write because I love to write, whether it's back cover copy for Poet's Market, a WritersMarket.com newsletter, a poem, a short story, a blog post, or even a monthly budget (just ask Tammy--I get carried away with that stuff). It's not so much something "I like to do" as something "I'm obsessed with doing." So yeah, maybe an obsession.

Anyway, that's why I write. What's your story? I'd love it if people shared their reasons for writing below.

*****

Connect with me on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn.

Tweet

*****

Check out previous Not Bob posts:

• 11 Tips for Writers Trying to Find Success.
• Are You a Specialist or a Generalist?
• Don't Wait for X to Do Y: Platform-Building Traps for Writers to Avoid.

You're Not Perfect. So What?!?

I run into so many people who talk about things they'd like to do (whether that's lose weight or write a novel or fill-in-the-blank), but they just don't have the right situation. If only there was more time in the day, or if only I didn't have so much debt, or if only I didn't fill-in-the-blank holding me back. I know it's easy to fall into this trap, because I've done it too. None of us are perfect...but you know what, who cares?

Let go of perfection
Believe me, I think there's nothing better than rolling up your sleeves and putting in some hard work. And yes, you should always be trying to get things done the best that you can, but sometimes the pursuit of perfection holds us back from our pursuits of accomplishment.

In the world of poetry and art, I know that some of the most "perfect" pieces can also lean toward the boring category. In fact, I could say the same about ice skating and gymnastics routines too. And architecture. Heck, it's the imperfections that really makes something unique and special.

Start now
Don't let your imperfect situation keep you from doing great things. Starting today, think of one thing you can do that you've been putting off. If it's writing a novel, spend 10 minutes today sketching out an outline of rough plot points. Then, devote another 10 minutes tomorrow (and so on).

If it's losing weight, just cut out one bad habit this week. And then add one good habit next week. Then, try doing one of each (cutting and adding) during the third week. Over time, the momentum will build.

Will you have off-days and off-weeks? Most likely.

Life is like the stock market
With all the problems in the economy right now, using the stock market as a metaphor is probably dangerous territory, but it's true. If you invest X amount of money in a diversified portfolio of stocks, the value may go up and down drastically over a short period of time, but in the long run, you always end up with more. Meanwhile, if you don't invest, you just end up with about the same or less (because it's being spent).

The same is true with our goals. Start investing in your goals now. There will be ups and downs, successes and failures, but over time, you will end up gaining more than losing. Don't wait for the perfect time to start, because that time is always now.

*****

Connect with me on Twitter, Facebook, LinkedIn, and Google+. Sign up for e-mail updates on the right to make it easier to follow posts on this blog.

Tweet

*****

Plus, check out previous Not Bob posts:

• How Do You Keep Up With Everything?
• Don't Wait for X to Do Y: Platform-Building Traps for Writers to Avoid.
• Just Write Something!

How Writers Find Inspiration at Home

Recently, I shared a post on how writers spend their vacations. A lot of writers mention they use their vacations for inspiration. This, of course, got me wondering how writers find inspiration at home. Sooooo... I asked readers of the free weekly WritersMarket.com newsletter to share their tips with me.

Here are a few of my favorites:

Enoch Li: I get my inspiration from home by creating the setting that makes me feel relaxed and comfortable--soft cushions and a big bean bag with a cup of fresh mint tea. I close my eyes as I breathe in the rejuvenating fragrance, and when I open my eyes, I look around my home and out the window and think to myself: "What a beautiful home!" Then, I open my Word document and type away for the next few hours, looking up and around me every now and then, sinking further into my bean bag. I can type for days like this with the inspiration just flowing with the sense of clam and beauty around me.

Steve Sears: I stay inspired by being "surrounded by my home library." I have a 210-book library that starts on my right hand side and continues behind the back of my desk. Whenever I need a break, no matter how long, I'll pick up a book and read a passage, or take extended reading away from the desk.

Rich Moser: For me, the key to inspiration is to expose myself to many sources of input, including nature. So I try to vary my days, not have a routine, keep up real social contacts (not Facebook!!!), and read from many sources. I figure there will be nothing to inspire me if I don't have contact with anything except my own mind and the life that springs from it.

Bonnie E Martin: I realize this is going to sound a bit risque, however, it has been the best inspiration for me throughout my 30 years of writing. I don't go "seeking the answer or inspiration" when I am working on my many projects. All I know is when the following happens, my mind is filled with fresh ideas, directions and even dialogue. The way I stay inspired at home comes from every time my husband and I make love! It sounds hokey, especially when you discover I have written more children's stories than I ever have written adult-themed articles or stories. Still, after that intense closeness with my soulmate, a torrent of ideas flood my mind, and I can't wait to get back to my writing.

Maryanne Petkac: I have recently discovered trail running and have fallen in love with it. I cannot begin to tell you the thoughts and ideas that pop into my head while running; in fact, last October I sent a piece titled "Trail Running" to sixsentences.ning.com, and they published it on their website! I am currently collecting materials in preparation to write my graduate thesis (I spent some time in Belfast in June doing research and wish I had seen your e-mail regarding inspiration away from home) and while running, have fine-tuned my thesis statement and put together a tentative outline. Trail running inspires me, challenges me, clears and opens my mind, all while allowing me to enjoy nature.

K. Dawn Byrd: Within the last few weeks, I've suffered from a major case of writer's block, and it couldn't have occured at a worse time, because I'm on a deadline. I found my plot had holes in it the size of the Grand Canyon. Taking an hour-long walk with my husband and my two Chinese Cresteds every night really helped. I talk about my plot with hubby (who is not a writer), and he brainstorms with me. It helps to get a man's perspective and sometimes he comes up with something that totally rocks my plot!

Sylvia Safran Resnick: I have been living in a retirement hotel for two years now. Many of my neighbors are Holocaust survivors and therein is my inspiration as I get to know their stories of courage and survival. My imagination flourishes and my heart responds in a way that makes it necessary to commit my feelings to paper. An observation here, a rush of emotion there, all conspire to make their way into the lives of my fiction characters as I move them from my imagination to paper.

*****

Good stuff. Stories from your neighbors, running on trails, going on walks, surrounding yourself with the proper atmosphere (and books!), and yes, even making love--these are all great ways to get inspired at home. I've tried most--if not all--of these methods of home inspiration.

One of my most effective ways to get inspired is actually not home-based: it's when I'm behind the wheel. Since I used to spend a lot of time commuting each day, I perfected a technique of writing while I was driving (without looking at the paper). Now, I don't commute, but I do zip up and down I-75 once or twice each month to visit my Ohio boys. That's not the only time I feel inspired, but it's rare for me not to write a few new poems and ideas during those long drives.

*****

What would you do?
Idea hits as you are about to fall asleep.

Click here to read and share.

*****

Connect with me on Twitter, Facebook, LinkedIn, and Google+.

*****

My favorite home-based inspiration? Probably music. Here are a few of my favorite albums to write to:

• Eve, by Over the Rhine
• Waltzes, by Chopin
• All Time Greatest Hits, by Louis Armstrong
• Dog Man Star, by Suede
• The Bends, by Radiohead